I was feeling a bit lonely and so decided life would be more fun if I had a pet. So, I went to the pet shop and told the owner that I wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion, I finally bought a Centipede which came in a little white box to use for his house. The owner said it was a talking centipede but you had to really listen as his voice is so very tiny.
I took the box back home, found a good location for it, and decided I would start off by taking my new pet to the pub to have a drink. So, I asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go down the Queen's Head Tavern with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer.
This bothered me a bit, but I waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the pub for a drink?" But again, there was no answer from my new friend and pet.
So, I waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. I decided to ask him one more time; this time putting my face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to The Queen's Head Tavern and have a drink with me?"
A little voice came out of the box:......................................
"I heard you the first time! I'm putting my f**king shoes on."
************************************************
*groan*
I know. Not the best joke. To be fair though, it isn't the worst. Was watching a tv show last night on bbc 2 and all they could do was take the piss out of suicide bombers...
Didn't think people would be doing that yet. But then I haven't been watching much tv recently so really I have no idea what people are saying about anything.
In fact have no clue to anything that is happening in the world as i don't watch the news, read the paper or generally pay attention to things that are going on around me.
Oooooooooooo, just realised that this is my 100th post! i was planning a big extravaganza but completely forgot and so will have to do it later - mebbe a 101st post extravaganza instead...
Having spaz at work as Spain are annoying me by doing stuff wrong and trying to blame me for it. Would be a good plan except that I have fax receipts nd emails proving that I did my part and they didn't.
Far to efficient and organised. Just wish I could be even vaugely like that in the outside world. Feel sorry for Lorna, she wants to work with me and I will just forget everything.
Like that I'm supposed to turn up etc...
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7 comments:
you always know how to cheer me up!
Me likes that jokey.
is there anything erm...try your "sent" emails box?
Spain as in the country are being arsey-well I'm not going there on holiday anymore!
i saw the thing where they took the piss out of suicide bombers.
Dis you see That Mitchell and Webb Look before it?
i was amazed, a new sketch show, on the BBC, that was actually funny! its the guys behind Peep Show. and very good it is too. reminded me of A Bit of Fry and Laurie...
i go back to uni tomorrow! woo!
Paaaaaulaaa! What is your email address? Email me - deppzombie@yahoo.co.uk! I dont like feeling like that was an empty promise. (you have two comments like this, basically the same but with a little bit extra now cos I'm not sure you saw the one down on your other post...hey, if you dont want to share mobile numbers, just email me anyhoo, cos I wanna hear from you!!!)
*humpfh*
I'm ill :(
Oh and PS like the joke, its very funny heeheehee
Talk soon
Helen x
Awwwww very sweet of you all. Esp as the joke as reaaaaaaaaaaaaally bad...
I havent seen that peep show people thing but did want to and then forgot. Only found the other thing accidentally..
Deppy - i will email you. Was little bit wasted when i wrote that post and havespoken to the person since to clear the air...
she hasnt even told me who it was-she is so secretive.
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