Friday, March 31, 2006

This one isn't about spiders

In fact, nothing arachnidy, insectish or gross and icky at all.

Well, depends on how you feel about tribute bands.

Just saw an excellent one called Rattle & Hum. The singer even put on a silly Irish accent for talking to the crowd.

And yes, I did the silly groupie thing of screaming like a school girl and deafening those around me.

Annnnnnd I was up at the front at the end. Jumping and screaming and waving my arms around in the air.

It was excellent.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Getting a complex

I was trying to leave that last post at the top for as long as possible in a vain attempt to get sympathy but it seems to have all dried up so I am moving on to my next trauma...

Well it isn't a trauma per se.

In fact it isn't really anything, I am just sulking that more people are not mortified about my spider incident. It still hasn't been found, it is out there. Lurking. Waiting fo rme to drop my guard...

Well thats all as I am boring myself with this now.


Friday, March 24, 2006

Absolute Fucking Nightmare

Y'know that James Bond movie where James has a tarantula on his chest while he sleeps in the bad guys vain attempts to kill him?


Just fucking happened to me!

With the minor difference THAT IT WAS ON MY FUCKING FACE!!!!!! (I feel excessive exclamation marks are fully justified here)

There I was dreaming about something strange where we were at a party at L&J's house and for some bizarre reason I was (badly) driving cars round and running people over (as you can do in dreams) when I felt something.

Next thing, I was fully awake having felt the scuttle of HUGE legs on my face. It was pitch dark as it was half three in the morning, so I swiped at the thing on my face. Lay there for a second having an actual heart attack, then threw off the duvet and ran for the light switch.

Little bastard was nowhere to be seen.

My room has since become a gas chamber as I emptied nearly a full can of bug spray into the room, getting at every nook and cranny, even under the bloody bed. Nearly gassed myself in the process.

Also discovered proof that I didn't dream this with a ridiculously evil imagination as I found web on my arm that was sticky and gross and was washed off immediately.

It is now 4.25 in the morning and I am sitting in the living room on my laptop telling you this story because a) it means I don't have to go back into that room b) because my friends (except Mas who isn't being supportive, just plain mean) aren't answering the ranting text messages I sent and c) cause I drank a cup of highly caffinated and sugary tea in a bid to settle my nerves and will now be awake for several hours no matter what and as I have to get up at six to go to sydney may aswell stay awake.

When I heard that highly scary statistic saying that in the course of your life you will inadvertantly eat 8 spiders while you sleep I figured that they meant little tiny ones that would go unnoticed. Not enormous fuckers that you have to chew and wash down with a glass of milk.

While looking for a link to make that above statistic look credible I found this. To be honest it fucking freaked me out even more as I KNOW I had a spider on my face and this says that it would never go near me. So I have know deduced that this spider must have an actual mission to get me.

So now I am wondering if it was working alone? If one spider has it in for me, why not ALL spiders? Was there another waiting behind a grassy knoll (lump in the duvet) waiting to attack if the first failed in it's mission, that I foiled by jumping up and running the moment I woke up?

Is it universal spider ploy to get me to never sleep again in the hope that I will become so deranged through lack of sleep and the stalking of spiders that I am confined to an asylum where not only they cannot reach me but I connot reach them and squish any more of the little fuckers with a handy flip flop?

Is it payback for all that squishing? I refuse to believe that I am the only one who has ever had the thought "If I kill this spider will its mother/ father/ sister/ brother/ third cousin twice removed come and seek revenge?"

Or am I over thinking this?

I think I will go read James Henry's blog as he is usually having a nightmare also and blogs about them in a way that makes them seem hilariously funny and I think I need a giggle...

If I never update again, the spiders got to me...

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Fixed it...


I appear to have fooked up my blog

So if anyone knows anything about codey type stuff please help!


Things I discovered today...

...Matty has a link to me on his blog. Here is me linking back.

Errrr, thats it...

Monday, March 20, 2006

He Don't Yearn For Me*

Howdy Folks

I just got back from my travels up (down?) the east coast of Oz. It was soooooooo gorgeous. I spent 2 nights in a fabulous apartment on surfers beach. I was on the 12th floor, right on the front, and the views were spectacular! Unfortunately I forgot to take pics of the views, however I did manage to take millions of pics of all the Wombats, Kangeroos, Snakes, Polar Bears, Tigers, Spiders, Sharks, Dolphins, Elephants, Lizards, Crocs an Koalas I met along the way.

Yes folks, I went to a Zoo!

I know. It is totally cheating. I should go off on a bush trek and see all the animals in their proper wild setting. But, what you have to remember, I am a complete wuss when it comes to actually wild wildlife.

The thought of being eaten by a croc doesnt really appeal to me although some people I know will be wanting me to try it! Ok, ALL people I know...

And my tan is coming on fantastically but as my web thing wont let me upload any more pics you aint gonna be able to see them. Also I was contacted by the government and asked to stop showing such disturbing images...

Anyway, I may post more cute pics at some point if anyone shows any intrest in them...

Laters Gaters

*So that clears that up then...