Sunday, February 26, 2006

Huge Fricking Scary Spider

I was awoken by my flatmate at the crack of 10.30am today (it is Sunday!)!

"Why?" I hear you ask. Ok, I don't hear you ask at all as I am possibly quite far away from anyone who actually reads this (although I know people do read this so Yay!), but I am gonna tell you anyway.

Firstly you should know that out of all the poisonous creatures in the world most of 'em live in Australia. And no, I am not that poisonous, I'm just visiting!

Well one of these horribly poisonous little buggers was outside my bloody FRONT DOOR!!!!!

And it was a spider which makes it doubly scary!

Yessireeeeee folks I had a vastly massive Sydney Funnelweb Spider on my funking doorstep!

Oki, it wasn't that massive or vast, and according to our neighbour it is only a baby funnelweb, but I defy you to see one on your doorstep and not have the screaming hab dabs!

And here is a picture of the creature, awful looking thing i'm sure you agree...

This isn't the actual spider I saw but this is what they look like fully grown. When they decide to attack you they lean back on their haunches and huge great fangs push forward.

Apparently if you stand on them they can bite though trainer soles.

I'm gonna go buy some bovver boots!

Also I was watching Jaws last night. Sharks AND spiders in the space of 12 hours...?

I may never sleep again!

Thursday, February 16, 2006


Big congratulations to my bestest bud in the whole wide world whom I love to teeny tiny little pieces!!!

She has just had a cute little baby boy!

He is the second baby to her and husband Stu and they are both hugely happy that baby boy is now home and snug in his crib.

Now I have been blamed for that pregnancy (and the previous one) as it seems that everytime I take Lorna out for the night she ends up getting drunk and 9 months later she has a baby (would like to insert her that the actual impregnatin act has nothing to do with me).

She wants 4 kids in total so, by my calculations, we are due for another night out in November...

I can't wait!

Miss you babes, Auntie P will be home soon to see my newest little babe.

Thank fuck thats over...

Not that I'm bitter but I have never even been dating a guy on Valentines day...

This year did I get cards? Chocolates? Flowers? A telephone call from someone saying that they love and miss me while I am half a world away?


I got a valentines text bloody message!

From a guy I don't even like who is a bit weird and creepy. Just like the rest of the guys I've dated really. I will, however, exclude Alex from that grouping as he reads my blog...

But seriously, when did the world lose the ability to converse properly (says the woman writing to no-one in particular on an anonymous blog)?

I have a friend who sends me messages that have to be deciphered before I have a clue what she is wittering on about!

It is getting very silly.

Back to Valentines Day. I have a nice little poem for you all to share my exact feeling on the subject. I hope you all had a nice day with loved ones, be they family, friends or canine companion. My dog loved Valentines as I used to make her heart shaped doggie treats.

This may be why I was never dating...

Roses are red and thorny
Violets are blue as is depression
Sugar is sweet but causes diabetes
And you will annoy me eventually, so go away.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Procrastination Ahoy!

It turns out that I have the worlds shortest attention span!

In my infinite devilish wisdom I have decided to write a story/ screen play which has loose connections to my life (the main character is also a redhead).

However it seems that I am rubbish at finishing stuff. Well in this case I am still on the first page!

So far I have looked for screen writing websites and tips, cooked, cleaned, washed up, chatted to friends, learnt how to compress and upload music files, attempted research on New York, discovered what the Research icon on my IE does, researched loads of different words, discovered what nepotism is, gone to the beach, read a book, gone for a swim, made a fruit salad, read some blogs, checked imdb for old movies I can refer back to then forgotten to write them down, got sidetracked and ended up reading the trivia for a load of Kevin Smith movies, relooked up Kevin Smith on imdb so I could add that link and millions more that I cannot remember but will probably end up noting down in an edit as another way of putting off the writing.

I think that is quite an impressive waste of time.

I am now remember a movie I watched where a guy was always trying to figure out ways of doing things in the shortest possible time. It is highly likely that I will now have to spend more time trying to figure out what that movie was.

So it seems that anyone who would wish to read/ watch any work by me would have to somehow notify their great grand children. It may be complete by then!