Saturday, October 20, 2007

Sorry, been busy

For, er about two months... Oops!

Ok, so a lot has happened since I was last on here. Most of which I cannot remember. I will blog about what little of it is left in my memory. To make it go a bit quicker I will just list them in a way that is both boring and tedious.

1. Working trip to Brussels. First job as a consultant!!! Yay, go me etc. Did the exact same as when I went as an assistant but this time I was not a direct employee of the business...
2. HOLIDAY!!!! Bulgaria was lovely and I got some fabby tan lines which have already faded.
3. Had a double date with Lorna & Stu, Me & Joe for my birthday where I was ceremoniously tortured and ridiculed. Isn't it great to have friends.
4. Went out for dinner with lots of friends then went out drinking, got sloshed and then promptly passed out as soon as I saw my bed. Joe was not impressed.
5. Er, thats it. I have a rubbish memory.
6. Thought about running for prime minister.
7. Decided it would be far to much like hard work.
8. Bastard didn't hold an election so couldn't have anyway.
9. Joe made me the first cup of tea he has ever made me since we met last december!

Right cannot be bothered with that anymore.

Will blog again soon but for now I am feeling totally shit as I am full of cold and I am convinced that my ear is about to fall off.


P. xxx

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Good Weekend

Had a fabby weekend out with my little friends in Cleethorpes for the bank holiday.

Very messy night on Saturday. I stole a poor guys shoe and hid it in the dj box so that no one else would nick it and I could get it back to the guy. Unfortunately it got kicked under something in the dj box and the poor guy had to wait til gone 3am to get his shoe when the lights came on and they could see to find it...


We were also gonna go to the beach on Sunday but one of us (possibly me) was so hungover and feeling so ill that she couldn't get off the sofa!

Ok, yes it was me. So while I was languishing did I get any sympathy or cups of tea made for me?


I got left on the sofa watching movies and feeling increasingly dizzy while Kel went for lunch with her new fella and Maz went for a shag!

So rude.

Though as it was apparently my own fault I will get no sympathy at all and should stop whinging *grin*

Got home Sunday to my lovely fella and a proper snuggly up where I still got no sympathy. The guy whose shoe I stole did though wheich was very annoying!

He doesn't read this (mostly cause he doesn't know it exists so I can still write what I like with out him reading it) but in case he ever comes across it (or Lorna tells him what I am writing to wind me up in revenge for the facebook thing): -

love you baby!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Mwah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah etc

She's gonna kill me....

He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he (you get the idea)...

Monday, August 20, 2007

Should Probably Update My Profile

Well hello again.

I'm confused.

Yes I know it doesn't take much. Bloody men all need smacking upside the head with something hard and pointy.

I know me and Joe are complicated but I am really getting annoyed with everything. We were talking while we had our day out in Whitby (which was really nice by the way - no I still didn't get my boat ride but my hip was killing me as we walked up to the Abbey and we wanted to sneak off for a shag *grin*).

Anyway back to the talk. Joe wants to cool things a bit to take the heat off of me as apparently she was making comments about me. It is all very frustrating and I do feel for the boy but I had just gotten used to him being around and now he wont be again for a bit.

We were having a chat about his family trying to help him and make him feel better. They are also trying to et him back with his ex not realising that her not leaving is what is making him ill in the first place.

He has not been happy for a while but has not left as he doesn't want her to get hurt. Now he also doesn't want me to get hurt (emothionally or physically if she finds out!) and this is what is causing him to be so stressed. I asked if he had ever really explained it to them. Take me out of the equation and would he stay with her? He said no. Then the thing that is causing him the stress is him wanting to end the relationship without hurting her (yes girls we know this is impossible but you try explaining that to a guy!)

He just sat and looked at me like I had grown another head. "You know, no one has ever summed it up like that". He actually said that. Bloody muppet - if that isn't the problem then what the bloody hell is. He wants to end it, she wont accept it, he doesn't want to cause her the hurt but him not just saying "that's it, done" means that she keeps thinking it will all end up back to normal. To be honest his family isn't helping as they all think he is just confused and should stay with her.

But again this is because he hasn't spelt it out to anyone.

Like I say - he is a bloody muppet.

But I am getting sick of it. As far as I am concerned I am a free agent allowed to do want I like with whoever I fancy it with. The fact that he told me that I could just takes the fun out of it.

Bloody blokes.

So we are cooling it but we are still on for everything else i.e. wedding in Cancun. During Lorna's 3rd trimester just to annoy her.

He he he - just kidding Lorna - it is years off yet. Though there are no kids allowed so you would need to find a babysitter for your herd for two weeks. *grin* No I am not joking.

And No, I am not having bridesmaids. That is also not a joke. There would be far to many people I would need to ask and it isn't fair to expect them to go out to Mexico just for my wedding. It'll just be a very small thing. Though he wants me to ask his nieces which isn't gonna appen as A) they are kids and B) I don't bloody know them.

Why do people do that? Ask kids of people they don't know and don't know/ like the kids???

Nope - all banned.

Mwah hah hah hah hah - Oh apart from my nieces and nephews cause I like them...

Wednesday, August 08, 2007


Brief addition to the below post.

You would be thinking that from the previous post that my life is a bit more sorted but no. Richard now seems to miss me and doesn't know what to do with that.

Foggy not telling him about Joe!

How do I get myself in to these situations?

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

All Change

So. Since the post about the boy infuriating me it has been a total upheaval.

Richard and I broke up. Totally mutual and no hard feelings on either side. He has enough shit to deal with without a girl who was in complete conflict of what she wanted against not wanting to hurt someone.

So now Joe. We are taking it slowly until his head is a bit less of a mess as after 5 years it must be difficult letting go. I have outfits that are this old and I don't want to chuck them out even though they are about 5 sizes to big now. It's a comfort thing I suppose - change is always difficult no matter how welcome or wanted it is.

Poor boy. We were play fighting on Sunday and he squeezed me between his arms on a point right on my shoulders, which are quite bad at the minute, and he didn't realise that I wasn't laughing anymore. God it hurt. Bless him, all the blood rushed out of his face when he saw that he had really hurt me! He looked exactly the same when Lorna told him that he had put me in hospital. Excellent, I have blackmail material for the next 20 years...

So, how freaked out am I? Well, totally, is the answer. I'm with someone I love. Me. In love. And actually with that person. It is a very strange situation. One I am unused to.

But it turns out that it is one I like.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this and the men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine!

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Show this to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh!

...Or men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

The Boy Infuriates Me

What is it with men?

I have never had so much attention now that I do not want it.

Today, I was proposed to. 8 months I wait for a certain someone to get off his arse and realise what he wants. Well now he has and he chooses to tell me when I am no longer available to him.

Do men just wait until a girl looks happy to throw not just a spanner but a whole tool box in to the works?

My head is now in a barn (the shed was to small) and I am totally confused about what I want.

I don't mess people around and I am not going to throw Richard away just because Joe has finally realised that I was nuts about him and he suddenly wants to devote everything that he is to me. I told him I had never hurt anyone in my life and it was true. I don't intend to change that now.

But the fact is that I was, and still am, head over heels for Joe. If Richard wasn't about I would have said yes immediately and would currently be on a beach with him in Mexico having a beautiful wedding with a little Mexican band playing and fajita's instead of a buffet.

Instead I am confused and tired.

Someone wanna point me in the right direction?

Friday, July 20, 2007

Oh the Decisions

Well hello again my little monkey pals.

I have to tell you that I have a huge grin on my face. I would have had this grin yesterday but I was in to much pain with my arthritis to be all happy and smiling. Hospital shot me full of drugs and now I am back to being all grinny and silly.

Far to early for this sort of muppetryness but I have just met this guy that I quite like.

I know, I know. Every so often I come on here and witter about a guy I met and liked and then 3 days later I never hear from him again and neither do you.

So this is what will probably happen again but I am a creature of habit and therefore need to blather about how fab he is for the 3 days I know him. *grin*

This guy I even tried to put off and told him all the horror stories about being in hospital, crying in pain and generally being sick most of the time. Not only did this not seem to bother him but he saw it for himself in the morning (yes, I'm a pratt - as one of my friends told me) and he just gave me a hug and text me later checking I was ok and that he had been worried about me. Now I know that they say any relationship should be based on honesty but I may have text back telling him that I was fine and just needed to "get going" when I was actually in agony and ended up in hospital again...


Oh well, trying to scare the boy is one thing, making him totally freak out is another. My darling Lorna actually made a guy look like he was about to cry by accusing him of putting me in hospital (is it bad that this happens quite often?) and it took me ages to assure the guy that he didn't (which now I'm kinda thinking may have been wrong...) and that I was fine.

And this guy is sooooooooo tall. I think I only come up to his elbow. And his jeans may actually be longer than I am...

He's very cute though and oh my god what a body...!

Monday, July 16, 2007

Growing Up...

...In the 1940's*, 50's*, 60's*, or 70's*

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a tin, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking ..

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a van - loose - was always great fun.

We drank water from the garden hosepipe and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cakes, white bread and real butter and drank pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem .

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no text messaging, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents .

We played with worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out any eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

Local teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.

And while you are at it, show it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were!

* No I am not old enough to have grown up in any of the listed decades**...!

** But Lorna is...

Bad Parenting

Well I thought it was funny...

I have had such a busy weekend.

Out Friday (total waste of time) then was even more knackered as people think that 2am is THE time to be texting me. I got more texts and phone calls between the hours of 1am and 4am on Friday and Saturday than I did in the rest of the week! They were nice texts and phone calls though. Had a huge chat with a mate at 2am on Saturday night (technically Sunday morning), it was nice.

Out Saturday which was much more pointful.

Kiddies birthday party on Sunday. I hid in the kitchen with the kettle and the tea bags/ milk/ sugar (and cheese and pineapple sticks which I really annoyed Lorna by eating before the party started) etc so by the time the kids left I was on total caffeine high!

Then got lost (twice - though technically the first time I wasn't lost I just thought I was so went a different way and got lost...) on the way to Darlington because I was told that the A66 was closed. It wasn't, as I manaaged to get back that way as I missed the turn I was supposed to make to go the wrong way which would have been the right way if the road had been closed?

Got that?

No, because it is all stupidly confusing?

Tough. Try driving it. In the rain!

Monday, July 09, 2007

I am Jacks' Broken Heart

Can you tell I have been watching Fight Club?

I have to admit I did not have the greatest weekend in history - in fact, even by my standards, it was bloody awful.

Although, and this sounds really geeky, I got hugs off the people I really needed them from. That could possibly be the worst English ever! I must be feeling bad for my grammar to suffer so much.

One friend took me out and listened to me have my own little break down, all the while not telling me "Yes you are an insane freak, I'm calling the men in white coats now. If I'm lucky they will start the shock treatment immediately!"

We have had issues in the past but they are totally appreciated and one of my closest friends - I wouldn't change our relationship for the world, weird as it is. I love them, completely.

Then the guy I am nuts over came to see me. Mostly just to say that he wouldn't be coming round, just to confuse me. This one is possibly even more complicated than the one above. Well sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't - depends on my mood and as I am in a strange mood it is a strange relationship.

Apparently one look told him that I wasn't 100% and I just got the nicest hug. Lots of them too. We haven't had that sort of relationship so far so for him to just give me a huge hug was really nice as it was just to comfort me. None of the usual antics that we get tend to get up to when ever we see each other. He is really huggable too. For those that know my friend, Bob, well it turns out that he is a Bob-hugger. Which just means that you just seem to get wrapped up in these huge strong arms and you feel really safe and protected. It's a really nice feeling and was really needed yesterday. I realise, rereading that, it makes very little sense but as I know what I am trying to say I'm not gonna try and explain more clearly as it will just confuse even more and smoke will start coming out of my ears (it is Monday after all).

I'm still feeling crap but I think that is more to do with my health than anything my head is going through. Sometimes I think that everything I have had to deal with since 2003 is trying to catch up with me. Usually I am doing so much that everything doesn't have a chance to keep up with me and if it does then I usually ignore it until it goes away. Now I am trying to slow down a bit it seems my brain has more time to examine everything. So my body may be coping better but my head is imploding.

I'm being over dramatic aren't I?

Mebbe I need some sleep. More likely, a cup of tea. Amazing how tea can cure so much. Think I shall try out that healing brew and speak to you all later.

Love P. xxx

Friday, July 06, 2007

Still No Pictures

I have really gotten rubbish at this blogging malarky. You would think I had gone out and got myself a life and am just to busy now but do not worry - I assure you that is not the case.

On the other hand my little commentators seem to have gotten bored and wandered off to comment elsewhere so mebbe my blog is just no longer interesting enough to hold their attention *prods Lorna and Charlie*...

Speaking of Lorna she is here to take me to the hospital - mebbe I will find a cute doctor to take care of me while I'm there!

Laters. xxx

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

What is With the One Post a Month?!?

Getting rubbish aren't I?

Well not been long back after jetting off to Alicante for a working holiday paid for (so kindly) by the company.

Managed to lay on the beach and do enough shopping to make it worthwhile. Oh, did some work to...

I have lots of pics including me with Javier's motorbike (which he took me out on!!! I'm such a speed freak) which I will have to get Lorna to send to me.

However the laptop is still being an arse - I MUST get it fixed - anyone know any good places?

Not at work tomorrow - I need the lie in as have a busy weekend ahead. Working Saturday (yes - this is me slowing down and taking it easy) and then have to spend all Sunday firmly wedged in front of the TV watching Hamilton (hopefully) kick Alonso's arse all the way back to Spain! I have a good humoured rivalry with Javier (who is Spanish and therefore an Alonso fan) and I really need Hamilton to win and to win well as I may have been on a horse that is about 4 miles high about how great Hamilton is so far...

*looks sheepish* Yes - I am a total bandwagon girl as I had never heard of him before the first race of the season...

But in my defense C'MON HAMILTON!

Yes I know that isn't a defense but it's my blog and as High Judge I grant myself privilege of acting like an arse.

Anyway - pics of me acting like an arse will follow soonist. Promise*.

*Er... Kinda...

Monday, June 18, 2007

Going Dutch

Well hey there guys an' gals.

Been a while but as things have been all quiet on the western front there hasn't been much for me to blog about. I'm still doing the same guy(s), working in the same place (though that should have ended on the 8th - long story, well short story but I cannot be arsed at the moment) and have the same hair colour.

Oh - but getting it cut this week.

However. Cute Dutch boy that I met in Frankfurt has asked me to go see him for a nice long dirty weekend. How tempting is that?

He is very cute, taller than me which I know isn't difficult to do but this guy is like the size of a very tall tree! Nice body to. Though, of course, I wouldn't know only meeting him that one night in a hotel bar...

So the questions is. Do I go?

Like I say it is tempting but this time I will be on my own in a foreign country staying with a guy I have met once who, as Lorna and Jojo point out, could be an axe murderer... Though I doubt it. And I will be staying with him - I've seen bits of Eurotrash - I know what the Europeans get up to! Sounds fun. I am thinking about going. Even looked at the flights which are low too.

Importantly he is Dutch and not German, I have nothing against Germans but I just prefer the Dutch. This is possibly because I had an excellent time in Amsterdamn. Well, what I remember of the trip was excellent. *grin*

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Symptoms of Being Over 25

Any of these apply...?

1. You leave clubs before the end to 'beat the rush'. (worst still you don't go to the clubs)

2. You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than going clubbing the night before.

3. You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer / basketball player and start dreaming of having a son who might instead.

4. Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the property section.

5. All of a sudden, middle aged people are not 46, they are only 46.

6. Before going out anywhere, you ask whether there is anywhere to park.

7. Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep them because they'll be alright for the DIY or in the garden.

8. You buy T-shirts without anything written on them.

9. Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls out of the newspaper,you suddenly see both the benefit and money saving properties of most of the things that are in it.

10. You start to worry about your parents' health.

11. You have more disposable income, but everything you want or need to buy costs between 200 and 500 quid.

12. You don't get funny looks when you buy a Disneyvideo or a Wallace And Gromit bubble bath, as the sales assistant assumes they are for your children.

13. Pop music all starts to sound the same.

14. You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut because they do a really nice half-bottle of house red.

15. You always have enough milk in the fridge.

16. To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to go clubbing, you instead frequent trendy bars and restaurants in the mistaken belief that you have not turned into your parents.

17. While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon C4's TimeTeam with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in. Grand Designs also appeals. Not to mention Antiques Roadshow!!

18. The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.

19. You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B&Q.

20. You wish you had a shed.

21. You have a shed.

22. You actually find yourself saying 'They don't make 'em like that anymore' and 'I remember when there were only 4 TV channels' and 'Not in my day....'

23. Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 - and Jeremy Vine has some really interesting guests on.

24. Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the bus, You tut at rowdy school children.

25. When sitting outside a pub you admire their hanging baskets.

26. You find yourself saying 'is it cold in here or is it just me'.

Oh Dear - It would seem that I have been over 25 for the last 10 years even though I'm only 26!!!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Alternate Universe?

Have you ever wondered what your life would be like had you chosen a different path?

Would I still be in the army? I could have gone to fight in Iraq, I could have designed a brand new type of tank or helicopter which the Yanks couldn't blow up quite so easily.

Would I have met that special man who is going to sweep me of my feet? If I were still in the army would our love be forbidden by rank or would we be torn apart be war?

Would I have written that script I started, even if it was cheesier than a triple cheese pizza with extra cheese and cheesy garlic bread on the side?

Would I have won a Nobel prize? I don't know what for but I can vaguely recall thinking it would be cool to have one when I was younger...

Would I have the two children that I lost along the way or would I still be unable to have them? If I did have them would I have left them at the shops like I think I would if I had a child?

Would I still have gotten sick?

I think I may have been watching to many sci fi movies... To many what ifs can drive a person just that little bit more insane than they already are. And my level of sanity can be called in to question quite a lot.

There is possibly only one thing I would change about my life. It's not a biggie. It would probably cause no real change. It's not a regret and it's not wishful thinking. I would still be me and would still do all the stupid things I still do. It was just a job I turned down years ago and it is the one thing I would really like to have done. I don't know why I turned it down. I just did.

Silly thing to think about all these years later and I don't know why I still think about it, but I do.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Big Guy? I Doubt It...

I was merrily driving back from Darlington at about half 10 this morning, listenign to the Chilli Peppers way to loudly when I saw a really nice little sports car.

It was purple and a sports car and that is all I know as I am a girl and do not have any cars makes and models stored in my head like blokes.

Well except for the number plate. Now I know the number plates of the previous 2 cars I have owned. The one I rive now I'm not sure of but believe it starts with an X. Could'nt tell you anyone else's. Except this guys.

It was B19 GHY.

So this man has a funky little sports car which made a huge roaring noise as he blew past me on the A66 and a number plate which says reads Big Guy.

He may as well have had a huge neon sign strapped to his car saying "I have the Worlds Smallest Penis!

And he was old and bald (I caught up with him at the road works).

He must use the car as a pulling tool. It looks quite expensive so he probably tells himself that his bald head and paunch don't matter the woman will be drawn to the car.

But, hey, it's worked on me in the past. It might work for him to.

Still a small penis'd twat though....

Wednesday, May 09, 2007


Well mebbe.

Was out with someone last night and we may well have been discovered. This means that I may be emigrating veeeeeeerrrrrrrrrry soon as I don't particularly want to be torn limb from limb...

As I am sure that you wouldn't either.

Yes I know that this is all my own fault for cavorting with a guy who is/ was attached but you cannot help who you fall for. Well you could if you decided that you wanted to be miserable for the rest of your life but as my new quotes below say "misery doesn't just love company now, it demands it" and I don't think that making everyone I know put up with a miserable bitch is a good idea.

Yes I used the term "fall for". Because it's very likely that I am. Or at least will. I know I have wittered on about guys on this blog before and that the relationships have lasted a slightly less amount of time than it took me to actually blog about them but I refuse to learn my lesson.

As cynical as I am about the world I am a romantic. Yes people will fuck you off and screw you over and if you're not walking around dazed and confused because of all the damage that has happened to you head on behalf of the opposite sex then you're not walking around right. But I believe in a happy ending. I'm gonna get my fairytale man who rides in a rescues me from a dragon. Though I am hoping he is slightly less camp than the prince who tries it in Shrek, voiced by Rupert Everett.

I'm gonna have the happy home with dogs and no children putting finger marks on everything. I'm not gonna argue over the washing up and hoovering because these are not in my fairytale. And he will never, never, NEVER think it is ok to use the toilet while I am in the bath. This is just weird and wrong and the people who do it are freaks. (Yes Lorna I am talking about you and Stu!!!) If I am in the shower and he walks in the room then he had better be after a shag as otherwise he will never see me naked again!

Failing all the above I shall get millions of cats and scare small children as they walk past the house!


Tuesday, May 08, 2007

They are a Totally Different Species

Who are I hear you ask. Well the answer is men. There is no way on all the gods green earth that we could be even slightly the same.

There are just to many differences and the similarilties are to superficial.

If a guy I was kinda seeing told me he had just slept with someone else I would have either gone apeshit, walked out or beat the crap out of him. Or possible all of the above.

I would not have said "Excellent. Was it any good?"

This is a guy who says that he cannot stop thinking about me and wants to be with me and just cannot wait until he can introduce me as his girlfriend. Far to complicated and boring for me to explain why he cannot at the moment.

And so, while I was most pissed off before I saw him and ready to tell him where to go my resolve kinda fucked off when I was with him. Because the annoying thing is that I like him. I like him more than I have liked anyone. He is so easy to get on with. I actually tell him the truth about stuff. Including the fact that it turns out I slept with one of his mates, although this was long before I knew he even existed. He just finds this really amusing and tends to take the piss out of me for it. Which is fair really as if it was someone else who had slept with him I would take the piss out of them too.

So, after not really getting anywhere I kinda decided that I would still wait. Which is possibly very stupid of me. But hey, I never claimed to be sensible. On the other hand I also told him that if I met someone else in the meantime then he is just out of luck.

I can see it all going very wrong very soon.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Bit of an Update

Been a while since I posted something proper on here that wasn't either 2 sentences long or a joke.

Been a bit of fun time recently. I spent a week in hospital which I was highly unimpressed by. I did get my own private room though which was a bonus. Some cute doctors too. And the nurses were very sweet. Except that they kept stabbing my in the arm and stealing my blood. This is a strange and disturbing habit they have and they should really see someone to help them get past it...

As I have been spending a lot of time in bed I have had a lot of time to think and I have decided that the whole world is going to pot.

I was having a discussion about house prices and the bands for paying council tax or something. Now - our house was bought in the 80's for 32k-ish. Unless we sell it, this is what it is worth. The government wants to re-evaluate all the house prices and charge you the extra. Our house could be worth over 200k now but as I said, that is only if we sell it. Which we are not planning to do. Also they haven't changed the value of these bands. There are very few places where the average house price is less than 100k (if any) now. When these bands were thought up the average house price was hugely less. The bands have never been changed to meet the change in house prices. This is ridiculous and just a way for the government to get more money out of people so they can spend it on stupid judges who let rapists walk free and other stupid court cases, holding terror suspects instead of shipping them out of the country (once they are proved guilty - the innocent can, obviously, stay), illegal immigrants and the Olympics.

The government needs a kick up the arse. I don't want my taxes spent on a load of shit that no one needs or wants. I want them to sort out people who sponge off the system and get loads of benefits they don't deserve. I want them to sort out immigration, the NHS and possibly education. They need to give more power to Teachers and take it awau from the little bastards that cause hell in schools. Send them to the army - they will soon learn that back chatting causes them to be beasted to fuck. Something teachers should really be allowed to do.

I also do not want Gordon Brown to take over. I didn't vote for him. No one did. Blair was the person that was voted in. If he decides to stand down then we should have another vote. Gordon Brown would not win. Mind you, I would be more likely to vote for a duck than most of the politicians these days. I don't care if they did drugs at school or wear womens clothes at the weekend. I just do not have confidence in them to run a country. I don't have confidence in them to organise an orgy in a brothel for that matter.

And as for George Bush. Why do we continue to toady up to that overweight country? We have had more detahs caused by their friendly fire in Iraq than by, well I don't actually have any real figures so this is just opinion, rabid frizbees. We have families who have been left shattered by the deathes of children/ brothers/ husbands caused by American fire and the USA will not give these families the answeres they need to move on. So why do we continue to bend over for them. Get tough. If they wont give us answers as to why they need to kill their allies then why help them. There are other reasons to leave Iraq but this one I actually like. Fuck the Americans - they do the same to us everytime they open fire.

Ok. So this has turned in to a bit of a rant. There is plenty more here, just bubbling under the surface but I feel that I am getting a bit preachy.

The above is all my own thoughts. If they offend you, tough. If you don't like it nobody is forcing you to read it. That was your own doing. Take responsibility for your own life and leave me to get on with mine.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Those Bloody Ducks

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St.. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, and one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, dark hair, long eyelashes, muscular, and tanned.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "well I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

Monday, April 09, 2007

I don't Like Your Girlfriend

This song kinda sums up what my life is at the moment but as it's not really gonna last long enough to become anything it's not so much of a bother.

At least i'm not quite the bitch that the black haired girl is!

Enjoy the vid.

P. xxx

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

A Little Jokie to Brighten your Day

A man went into an urologist and told him he was having a problem. He was unable to get his penis erect. The doctor checked him out then told him that the muscles around the base of his penis were damaged from a previous viral infection and that there was nothing he could actually do for him. However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might work, if he is willing to take the risk.

The treatment consisted of implanting muscle tissues from an elephant's trunk into his penis.

The man thought about it a while. The thought of going through life without ever experiencing sex again was just too much for him to bear. So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty to the elephant, the man decided to go for it.

A few weeks after the operation he was given the green light to go and try out his newly renovated equipment. As a result he planned a romantic evening with his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in town.

In the middle of dinner he felt a strong stirring in his loins that continued to the point of being extremely painful. To release the pressure he unzipped his fly and his penis sprang out, slid across the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and then returned to his trousers.

His girlfriend was stunned at first, but then with a sly grin on her face said, "That was incredible! Can you do it again?"

With tears in his eyes he replied, "I think I can, but I'm not sure if another bread roll will fit up my arse!"

Saturday, March 17, 2007

On Strike

Charlotte Scott-King. How can you whinge at me for not commenting on your blog when you do not bother to comment on mine?

I've left loads of comments and you haven't bothered at all. Humph.

I am therefore on comment strike on your blog until our unions have sit down discussions to resolve these issues. They will probably need weeks of meetings and a hell of a lot of tea and cakes before they can hash out a policy of mutual commenting that we both agree with.


Thursday, March 15, 2007

Oh James

I met James Cracknell yesterday!

Had absolutely no idea who he was until I actually met him (turns out he is an Olympic Gold medal winner for paddling about in little boats and an OBE).

He is soooooooooooooooooo good looking.

And I had my photo taken with him! I'm such a rabid fan girl.

When I get it put on my pc will post it here cause he is soooo yummy! I also feel I must share with you all that he has his arm round me!


Going now to check my emails and see if I have the pic yet...

Monday, March 12, 2007

Totally Worth It

What is worth it you may ask? Well quite a few people know but I am not going to explain it in graphic terms here but I was back in the hospital on Wednesday just gone. The reason for this may or may not have been great fun but as I cannot test the theory with out doing it again and that isn't gonna happen for a while then we shall all just have to wait and see.

In the meantime here is something to giggle at.

This is a story about a Fly, a Fish, a Bear, a Hunter, a Mouse and a Cat.

There is a moral to this story...... (Maybe not the one most of you expect.... So, read on!)

In the dead of summer a fly was resting among leaves beside a stream. The hot, dry fly said to no one in particular, "Gosh...if I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."

There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him."

There was a bear on the shore thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches that fish will jump for the fly... And I will grab the fish!!"

It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich.... "Gosh," he thought, "if that fly goes down three inches... and that fish leaps for it... that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch."

Now, you probably think this is enough activity on one river bank, but I can tell you there's more....

A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches... and that fish jumps for that fly.. and that bear grabs for that fish.. the dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich."

A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, (as was fashionable to do on the banks of this particular river around lunch time), "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches.. and that fish jumps for that fly.. and that bear grabs for that fish [keep on reading!].. and that hunter shoots that bear.. and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich, then I can have mouse for lunch."

The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water. The fish swallows the fly. The bear grabs the fish. The hunter shoots the bear. The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich. The cat jumps for the mouse.

The mouse ducks... the cat falls into the water and drowns.

NOW, The Moral Of The Story....

Whenever a fly goes down three inches, Some pussy is gonna be in serious danger.

Friday, March 02, 2007


So, It's Friday Night

Am I out dancing with friends?

Am I having dinner with cute guy?

Am I suggled up with my beau, watching a movie and being snuggly?

Am I even soaking in hot bubble bath with glass of wine and good book?


I am sitting on a friends sofa. Babysitting her kids, a hobby most people are to old for by the age of 16.

Cannot even say I am waiting for a fella to come over and entertain me as I haven't seen him in a week so haven't been able to mention I would have the house to myself.

Annoying in the biggest possible way!

So I am going to amuse myself by editing Lorna's pc so there is a big scary cock on her desktop when she next signs in!

Mwah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah etc...

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Bored Of It All Now

I have been mooning over this guy for what seems like eternity.

And I am bored of it. No doubt it will all go wrong and FUBAR etc so really I am just setting myself up for a fall.

Mebbe I should just not worry about it until there is something real there for me to actually worry about. I should also stop wittering about a guy who is so in to me that he lives with another woman.

So moving on. Tarot.

Now I like the idea of tarot. I don't have any real inkling that it is true but I read my starsign every so often. I just set no store by it. So I did a Tarot reading and here is what I got.

Card one: Knight of Wands in the "Love & Me" position

Main (positional) Meaning: A new journey of discovery in the romantic realm is about to be embarked upon with optimism and high spirits. The card in the Love & Me position touches on an aspect of how you perceive yourself with regard to possible intimacy in your life. The Knight of Wands (in some decks, a Prince) in this position indicates readiness for a voyage of discovery for you and your possible love interest. You are prepared for the journey, your effects are in order, you are in great shape and the excitement of departure prevails. Inside there is a powerful feeling of youthful idealism - you have no idea if this is going to be difficult or not, but those problems are tomorrow's problems. Today the energy is high, spirits are bright, the sky is clear and if there ever was a heroic and noble impulse in you, you are getting a chance to express it now.

Card two: Ace of Swords in the "Situation" position

Main (positional) Meaning: It is vital to clear up any misunderstandings or miscommunications so you and your desired love interest can get on the same page. The card that lands in the Situation position refers to social or circumstantial factors which could be affecting your life at this time. The Ace of Swords in this position indicates a pathway to a mutual destination that zigs and zags in different ways for you and your potential partner. It's all too easy to lose touch with one another along the way. It takes a lot of trust and empathy to stay connected while having different experiences moment to moment. The forthcoming stage of your relationship may be testing you both to see whether or not you are working with mutual values and goals in mind. As your shared intent becomes clearer, the two of you may become shining examples for others. You may both know what your next step is. Use this Sword to draw the fine line between facts and feelings, between expression and exaggeration. Just state the bare truth, and resist any tendency to embroider it.

Card three: Five of Coins in the "Challenges" position

Main (positional) Meaning: Stay conscious of your deepest values and most cherished long-term relationship goals. The card that lands in the Challenges position refers to ways that you can turn obstacles into stepping stones. The Five of Coins in this position challenges you to stay in balance when you experience arousal from powerful, new magnetic forces of change. No matter how exhilarating and overpowering this feeling may be, remain attuned to the standards and relationship goals that have always been important to you. Promises you may make or which are made to you in a potential relationship at this time must be congruent with your overall goals or else there may be conflict in the future. Take the time to communicate your wishes to your next partner so you are both working towards the same objectives. You'll appreciate each other's efforts more as a result.
Note: In the English decks, like the Rider-Waite, the sickly poor freezing outside a well-lit church warn of the painful outcomes of bad choices, rather than focusing on the dynamic tension of the choosing itself, as in the traditional Continental decks.

So. I decide to stop thinking about a bloke/ relationship I currently have no control over or say in and what does my Tarot go on about?

Sodding relationships!!!

I give up.

All Tarot info gotten from Go. Make a free account. Or don't. Up to you.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007


So sweet.

You may need a sick bag to read the below quote but I like it so ner, ner, ner!

"You're nothing short of my everything." - Ralph Block

Friday, February 16, 2007

A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out ofthe car salesroom.

Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the M40, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring."I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 110mph, then 120, then 130mph.

Suddenly, he thought,"What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before,I'll let you go."

The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Bit Pointless

A sense of duty is useful in work, but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not be endured with patient resignation.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

In The Middle Of The Night

Got home just after 1am this morning. Had been to Gillians 40th. Dragged along with me my dear friends, Lorna and Charlie. Lorna decided to start drinking Malibu while I was still in the bath so by 23:10 she was already sozzled and complaining about wanting to go home.

Unfortunately for her she had already agreed to go dancing for a bit before we let her go home so her cries and pleas of “my baby is one tomorrow” fell upon deaf ears. Well not totally deaf – we heard enough to know what she was talking about and felt the need to torture the poor girl about loving her daughter more than her son.

*evil laugh*

So we dragged her arse to the night club where she kinda just wobbled like a weevil instead of actually dancing.

Finally decided we had tortured the poor girl enough so we took her home.

I sent Charlie off on the long climb to the top of my house where she would be spending the night and I attempted to go to bed without being distracted by watching Red Dwarf.

Didn’t manage it which is why, when 10 minutes later I heard stones hitting my bedroom window, I still had a full face of make up.


It was him!!!! He had turned up again just to see lil’ ole me. *grin* So I merrily skipped down the stairs and let him in.

Mwah, mwah later he stops, looks at me and says “can I ask a personal question?”

Bugger, what on earth is he gonna ask??? I immediately think “No, no, no, no, no, no!” But being me what actually comes out of my mouth is “sure”.

“Where do you see us going?”

Now I have never been asked that sort of question before and my first instinct is to avoid it but he is having none of it so, possibly for the first time ever, I answer honestly to a guy I like and don’t really know to well.

I tell him that I like him. I tell him that I want to be with him.

May not seem like much but, for me, it’s a big deal.

Ask anyone.

Now it is a bit complicated and there are a few issues going on in the background that I’m not going to go into as it is annoying and as a kinda safety precaution.

But he likes me. His words “I really do have feelings for you.” I’ve never had anyone have feelings for me before. The rest of the sentence finished, however with “which is strange because you annoy the hell out of me!” Now that I have done before! *grin*

He has been thinking about me constantly and just wants to be with me. Doesn’t want to be without me. It’s so nice. Not had that sort of thing before and I have had a silly grin on my face ever since.

I like this guy.

Lets see how long it takes for me to fuck it up.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Just a Quickie

Hi all

Just a quick note to say that I am gonna have a proper blog post which will involve: -

Buying a House?
My Knees
An Invitation
Possibly a Huge Apology to Everyone as I have been Acting Pycho...
A Joke

The reasons for all above will become clear when I actually have a spare year to write the bloody post.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Inner Peace

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we could all do with a little calm.

By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace.

The article read: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish off all the things you have started".

So I looked round the house to see all the things I had started and hadn't finished. And before leaving the house I finished off a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white wine, the Baileys, three Bacardi Breezers, the Jack Daniels, the Prozac, some Valium, some cheesecake and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how bloody good I feel.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Been a Long Time

Well just over a week but Charlie has been bugging me to post for ages!

Good day.

Went for lunch with Philip in Durham. Really nice guy, very funny.

We just wittered about everything and nothing for two and a half hours before I had to bugger off cause Joe was late to come round to tile.

I'm sooooooooooo seeing him again. This week. Either Thurs or Fri. He's cooking. Not sure whether to be scared...

And I am still waiting for Joe to finish up which means that I am late for meeting Suzie. Have left a message on her phone - hope she gets it and doesn't think I haven't just not turned up...

Will gossip more with anyone who wants details later.




My new joke.

Guy walks in to a Dentist surgery and says to the dentist "I think I'm a moth."

The dentist looks at him and says "Well I'm a dentist, you probably need to speak to a pschiatrist. Why did you come in to a Dentist surgery?"

The man replies "Your light was on."

Sorry bout that...

Friday, January 19, 2007

More Silliness

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving eachother the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM ."

He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."

Men are really not equipped for these kinds of contests.

Sorry to all the men out there - luv ya all really. Well, except the married guy who wants to fuck me. He is just weird...

Thursday, January 18, 2007

F*&%*^G Hell

It's nearly 10pm and I am still at work.

I officially hate Trade Shows.

EDIT: 11:40! I left at FUNKING 11:40!!!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

So tired

Hello. My name is Paula and I am a Sims 2 addict.

The hardest part is admiting it. Or so I'm told.

It was a kind and thoughtful gift for Christmas from Lorna after she saw me get a ddicted to the version on my phone.

So now I can sit on my Laptop and play through the night.

I'm so tired.

I was up until gone 1am last night playing. My little Sim is turning out to be a little tramp. She has 2 on the go and wont be happy until she has another.

No Lorna, she is nothing like me.

I have found the cheat that lets me stop my Sim aging. Which is good because they don't look quite so good when they are old.

Not that I'm vain about my little Sims or anything.

Blatantly at college tonight and should go to bed afterwards but know I will be back with my little Sims, making them go to work (something I wish I didn't have to do), shop, wash, eat and everything else.

Must go now - It is getting on for work time and I should do something. Possibly make tea. Thats the other thing I am addicted to but cannot pin that one on Lorna...


Sunday, January 14, 2007

By George I Think I've Got It

The html sems to be fixed.

I bet its screws up again soon enough though. I'm good at breaking things...

I Sang to my Science Teacher because I Can't Control Myself

Your turn.

Pick the month you were born:
January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I smoked
April--I dry humped
May--I choked on
June--I murdered
July--I did the Macarena with
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I sang to
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a Mexican
6-------a gangster
7-------my cell phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbour
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a Ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an ipod
29-------a permanent marker
30-------a llama
31-------A homeless guy

Pick the colour of shirt you are wearing:
White----------because I'm cool like that.
Black-----------because that's how I roll.
Pink------------because I'm a homosexual.
Red------------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want.
Green---------because I hate myself.
Purple---------because I'm myself.
Grey----------because I was drunk.
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
Orange-------because I hate my family.
Brown--------because I was high.
Other-------because I'm a ninja.
None--------because I cant control myself.


I really do seem to have done something to the layout of my blog and I have no idea how to fix it.

Generally when something is wrong I ignore it until it goes away. This is no different.

My theory is that I will just keep posting blogs until I have gotten rid of whatever is messed up to the archives. I never look at the archives so it's not a biggy if they are all wonky.

On a completely different note I haven't seen Joe in ages. I'm gonna have to ask lorna if her floor is ready to be put down so I can 'assist'! Hehehehe

I know I just met a cute Dutch boy but he is in a different timezone and that means I'm allowed to mess about with people slightly closer!


In German...


Ich habe gerade aus Deutschland zurückgekommen. Mein Chef schleppte mich rüber, um mit Losen Leuten über faric zu sprechen. Interessierend nicht, an allen als, traf mir einen wirklich netten Mann, der Cees angerufen wurde.

Er ist holländisch und denkt, daß ich nett reizvoll bin, lustig und, aber wir das setzen können, zu den Sprachenschwierigkeiten niederzuwerfen.

Ich werde jetzt versuchen und sich erinnern, an was ich geschrieben habe, also ich das engish unten setzen kann. Dieses wird vermutlich reaaly schlecht übersetzt!

Und auf englisch...


I just got back from Germany. My boss dragged me over to speak with lots people about fabric. Not interesting. Did meet a really nice man, who was called Cees.

He is Dutch and thinks that I am cute, funny and sexy but we can put that down to language difficulties. I will now try and remember what I wrote so I can put the translation down. My Geman grammar is probably really bad!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007


No Idea why my blog has gone sque-iffed.

Never fear Charlie, there was no hackage.

I think that graph my have fucked the layout.

I'm sure it will figure its self out soon...



Going to Frankfurt today til Saturday so it will be all quiet on the bloggy front.

Will update on the shenanigans when I return!


Sunday, January 07, 2007

Oooo, and this...

My Personality
Openness To Experience
Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report


I've been thinking a lot recently. I know, always a bad idea. It does nothing useful and just makes you feel a bit crap.

But I have mostly been wondering about why I am thinking so much about being sick. I've been sick since 2004. I should be used to it by now but the fact remains that it is bothering me much more now than it used to.

Mebbe it's because of the constant pain? Mebbe it is the fear that one day, mebbe soon, that my body will give out and then it will be endless operations to replace the failing parts? Mebbe I'm scared of what it will mean for the future, the loss of independance and being old before my time?

Mebbe I just have to much time on my hands and I need to get a new hobby?

What on earth happened to my usual mantra of "Ignore it, it might go away"???

It could be worse. It's not going to kill me anytime soon. I still do all the things I used to. It hurts but I do them. I will still do them when it is agony. I have my friends and family who love me and offer hugs when I feel shit. Or, if I feel really bad, they take the piss until I snap out of it.

Ths post dsn't have any real point. I am just letting off steam to those who are willing to read about it rather than force it upon those who may not give a damn. I will have to serch through the recesses of mbrain and come up with some nonsense to post later. This blog is becoming all to serious for something that was made up the relieve the boredom of being awake at 3am.

I may go watch some more Family Guy. Thankfully I cannot have kids because if I did I know they would be just like Stewie...


Yes I have removed the video. But do not fear youtube fans. I will probs post the one of Jo's arse...


Thursday, January 04, 2007

Threats Revealed!

I did warn Lorna that I would post this as soon as I figured out how to do it...

*link removed due to adult content*

Now it is possible that you will not hear from again. If this does indeed happen it means Lorna has killed me.

Please alert the authorities.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007


Well, it was nearly good news...

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

I Really Should Not Be Allowed Out

Or if I am I should be properly supervised and allowed no where near anything that could be called even vaugely alcoholic!

I'm not a fan of New Years anyway. I think I should spend next years in a room, locked from the outside, in a Straight Jacket (this part will probs be true anyway) where I can do no harm andcause no trouble.

No. I'm not telling you what I did.

No, Lorna you are not allowed to tell either! That was strictest confidence. Charlie, I will tell you later. Believe me, however rubbish you were feeling yesterday - my news will have you laughing until next Christmas!

Moving on.

How was everyones Christmas???

Mine was so totally fabby that I can almost (but not quite) get over new year.

I got the best present ever. When I was a kid I used to watch the He-Man & She-Ra Christmas Special. It was on every year about 8am and if I missed it I got really upset. They eventually stopped showing it but I stil used to check every year to see if it was on. Well I got it on DVD!!!! So totally freakin cool!!!!

For a proper review and pictures and all that go here. Seriously, go read. It's an awfully good review. Lots of pics and a sense of humour. What else do you need?

I'm freezing!!!

That doesn't really have anything to do with this post but I just thought I would mention it. I'm refusing to take my coat off til the heating kicks in.

Anyway - that is it for my first post of the new year. Hope you all had a smashing time for Christmas and New Year and that you didn't eat to many mince pies and get that weird mince pie affliction... You'll know it if you have it...