Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Its just a lot of bollocks really...

Ok, my blog is turning into a load of jokes and me wittering about men.

The men thing is going well so here is another joke...


A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.

"Nice bike," the cop said. "Did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation and said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."

The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you've got there sir. Did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.

The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."


Heh heh heh.

I'm loving stealing these jokes fgrom Maz, she is a very funny lady.

Back to the bloke thing. I'm kinda having a dilemma. I'm waiting for one guy to get himself sorted. Another guy is away at the moment. While I'm waiting for one to sort himself out I'm allowed to mess about with the other guy aint I?

When he is back though, obviously...

Cause the one I want I can't have. But there is nothing going on really at the moment so I wouldn't be cheating if I did find someone else for the moment.

Plus I pulled on Thursday and it was with niether of them so really I'm just turning in to a bit of a tramp.

Classy Tramp though *grin*

Who is having lots of fun!!!

Thursday, December 14, 2006


FBI Job Opening

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists.

Two men, and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun."We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in achair. . . Kill Her!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious.I could never shoot my wife."

The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun andwent into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came outwith tears in his eyes..."I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow."This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to deathwith the chair."

MORAL: Women are evil. Don't mess with them


I object to to the moral. Women are not evil. Women are resourceful...

Well, we are slightly evil... At least that is what I was told last night...

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Quick! I Need Something to Break!

Tomorrow will be the last night the blokie is in tiling the Kitchen. Which is a shame. I have gotten quite used to hanging out in the kitchen, pointing out wonky tiles, shamelessly flirting and being generally distracting to the poor man.

He is very cute. Infact he was supposed to finish tonight but, as I wont be about tonight, he has made an excuse and will only turn up if I will be there.

Which is nice.

But - I want him to have to come back for something else otherwise I probs wont really see him again for 2 months (don't ask why I know it will be 2 months). Well I probably will see him but it will involve a lot more planning and sneaking about. Which I cannot be arsed with. It's not the best situation on the world and I have the feeling that I am just setting myself up for a fall but he seems nice and in to me (not in that way, get your minds out of the gutter!). Thankfully, with my track record with men, I am used to it by now and so it doesn't bother me so much.

We have nothing else that needs tiling. Nothing else that really needs fixing. Our heating has just been redone. He doesnt fit ovens.

I need suggestions of what I can get him to do.

Answers on a postcard to the usual address. Or you could just comment.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Well, That Didn't Last Long

Don't ask me what went wrong as i have no idea but I got the "we need to talk" text. Bit overkill as we only went out twice but still quite sad as he was like a little puppy.

Oh well, on to the next.

And the next is...

He he he - Sorry, there is someone that has caught my eye but for complicated reasons I shall not be discussing it here in details. Not for a while at least.

So moving on somewhat, I passed my first aid course. I am hoping that this is an omen which means I am gonna have passed the first unit of the course I am doing at college.

If not, then bugger.

Anyway - I really should be doing some work even though i really cannot be arsed and would much rather be flirting and distracting and causing bother.

Laters my darlings. xxx