Saturday, April 29, 2006

God I wish my phone had a camera on it*!

I was at a bus stop yesterday and a guy getting on the bus before mine was wearing *takes deep breath* a Shell Suit!

Now, forgive me if I am wrong, weren't they outlawed before the 90's even got in to view? Or by '95 at least?

What on earth was he thinking? Why would anyone do that to themselves? You open yourself up to a barrage of jokes at your expense!

Mebbe it is just in Australia that they are still allowed...

On another note I am addicted to the Australian Big Brother. The people in the house seem so much nicer than the people they get on the UK version. There is one guy who cracks me up, he is just in there to have a laugh. He has been appointed as a "mole" by BB and when he found out about this he had the biggest and most evil grin on his face! Now he is telling anyone who will listen that he was in a Mathematical Clult! What the smeg is a Mathematical Cult!???!

The cult thing has nothing to do with his mole status.

There is a gorgeous outback farmer (David) who hid his gayness for a few days but came out eventually. He hid it long enough for one of the girls to become truly enamoured with him so she was all upset and feeling very daft when he opened his closet door. He then had the first snog in the house with Tilly. A girl. Worst gay bloke ever! Lol. Apparently it was just a random thing with no meaning but it did look very messy...

Last one to be mentioned is a cute surfer lad called Jamie. He is 22 and such a little sweetie. He has all the girls crying on his shoulder and he is ooooooo nice. Currently he should be worried about falling in to the "Special Man Friend" trap where he can pull no one because they are to good friends but, phroar! I wouldnt kick him out of bed for eating biscuits! Or doing anything at all for that matter!

Guy I pulled at the weekend didn't call so I am a hag again but the guy I met for coffee did but I don't want him. Im a fussy bugger.

Home soon, yay!

*Did have a phone with a camera on it for about 2 weeks but couldn't work the bloody thing so didn't keep it...

Monday, April 24, 2006

Mwah hah hah hah hah

(for those who don't know me that is my evil laugh)

Any childhood fans of Skippy the Kangeroo TV Show should stop reading now.

I hated Skippy when I was a kid and am also slightly evil so I shall explain the laugh above.

I ate Skippy!!! Yes dear folks. Had a BBQ at a friends and we had Kangeroo Kebabs!!!

And you know what? They were delicious! All that hopping about makes them really tender. Like a really expensive beef...

Then tried to convince one of the lttle kiddies that they too had eaten a bit of dearly missed Skippy. Then had to sit through said child explaining to me that I couldnt have eaten "The Skippy" because "The Skippy" was in Hollywood...

So, in a fit of bratty mindedness, I said "Yes, with the dog your mother said went to live on a farm to chase the rabbits".

Child just looked at me. I didn't explain further...

Also, I pulled at the weekend so I am no longer a hag! Yay!

Friday, April 21, 2006

The Doctor is Always In.

New game to play. Are you Depressed?

Seriously. No need now to talk to people, think about it yourself or bother an actual doctor. You can now work out if you are depressed by taking a simple test!

My response to this was "hmmmmmmm". And I am not telling you the answer I got which also made me go "hmmmmmm".

I think it is all a load of tosh like those self diagnostic sites, according to which I am suffering from some weird tropical diesease that only 0.1% of the population will ever suffer from and 0.0000000000000001% has even heard of. Including doctors!

Also found info about a paperclip in the news. I am highly impressed. I have a used coffee cup if anyone fancies a switch?

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Stupid Bloody Websites

I am officially sulking.

I had found a fab deal to get home on a nice, well known airline. I was impressed, wasn't at all difficult.

Except that I was looking at it in American dollars not Australian. Had I not realised this it would have cost me about a gazillion* more than it should!

Now I have to start over and try to find a good deal in a short time.

So I am currently comtemplating throwing this pc out of the window which would not be a good idea for 2 reasons. 1. it is not my pc and therefore I would be charged for any damaged caused (which would be a lot as I am on the 20th floor) and 2. the windows are reinforced so it is likely that it would just bounce off the window, land on my head, and knock me out. Which would only result in a headache and that would annoy me even more.

I will post a nastily evil pic of Lorna as I threatened on her blog when I get home.

*This is NOT an exageraton**

**This comment in no way implies that I am not exagerating...

Thursday, April 13, 2006

And now back to the silliness

I really wanted to say "And Now For Something Completely Different" ala Monty Python but it isn't different. I am just going back to the previous thread of posting about spiders.

Now they are not just trying to get you by being all poisonous and shit. No, now they are trying to get you by breaking bones and fire!

Although I will say it does serves them right as if i came across anyform of spider I would not think to douse it in petrol. Esp if I am wearing nothing. In fact if I were starkers and a spider was around I would expect there to either A. be a bloke around to protect me from it or B. I am in the shower/ bath and would wash it down the plug hole.

Although if I were starkers with a bloke around and I still noticed the spider you can be pretty confident that his only use would be to get rid of the spider...

Just to be all serious for a moment

I feel like I haven't been here that long...but I also feel like I have been here forever and that I have my life either on hold or that there are millions of things that I should have been doing but instead I have been lying on a beach.

So what do I do?

Do I pick up and head back to the "real world" and my "real life" and get a "real job" and spend the next however many years wondering if I should have stayed or would it be better for me to stop putting off the inevitable?

Or should I address just what was it that made me want to run away from all that "real" stuff in the first place?

I was sitting at my desk at a place of work where most of the people either had already worked there for over 20 years and were set for life (fingers crossed the company will be about long enough) or they would end out their careers there (in which case I hope it lasts the at least the next 40).

But I didn't want that. In fact the mere thought had me panicking and needing a cup of tea to calm down.

That wierd advice song about sunscreen struck me. Something about "the most interesting people don't know what they want to be at 40" or whatever it was.

I have no idea what i want to be. In those young kiddy years (about 7 years ago) I never wanted to be in an office. Never, never, never. I couldnt imagine in my worst nightmares (which were always spiders and always will be) something that could be worse than spending all my working life getting up every monday to go to an office and do a job that I could not ever find interesting. Doing that each workday until it is the weekend. Spending the weekend dreading Monday.

But what do I do now?

I get up every morning and do exactly that.

Now, while I am ensconced here, I can imagine that it doesn't matter and that it is only temporary as I will be shipped out of the country, kicking and screaming if needs be, at the end of August.

But when I get home?

I have to figure out what it is I want to do with the sort time I will be able to do stuff.

I know I want a flat. I nice 2 bedroom flat. I do not want a house. For some reason Flat to me means young and carefree (apart from mortgage obviously). House means old and responsible and families, marriage, kids, health insurance, getting old and being boring.

Big apology to all I know who have houses (lorna, charlie, the rest of you that I know but don't know the state of your living accomodation).

But the flat has to be 2 bedroom for visitors (although that is unlikely now have insulted everybody I know and quite a few million I don't)...

Anyway I was ranting. Please feel free to disregard.

But if you do have any suggestions of things I should do for the rest of my life that sound like they wouldn't make me dread Monday's they would be appreciated.

Famous actress, musician, poet, author, reality tv contestant (fake celbrity) are all rejected on grounds of lack of talent or too high embarassment factor...

Though saying I would make a good (insert one of first four options) will get you on my easter egg list*.

Hope you all have nice choccy days...

*Provided I have an easter egg list. Which I don't...

Saturday, April 01, 2006

I Love April Fools

Planetary Alignment Decreases Gravity

In 1976 the British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on BBC Radio 2 that at 9:47 AM a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur that listeners could experience in their very own homes. The planet Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, temporarily causing a gravitational alignment that would counteract and lessen the Earth's own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment that this planetary alignment occurred, they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, BBC2 began to receive hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman even reported that she and her eleven friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room