Friday, September 15, 2006

Another Jokie to Brighten Your Day

I was feeling a bit lonely and so decided life would be more fun if I had a pet. So, I went to the pet shop and told the owner that I wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion, I finally bought a Centipede which came in a little white box to use for his house. The owner said it was a talking centipede but you had to really listen as his voice is so very tiny.

I took the box back home, found a good location for it, and decided I would start off by taking my new pet to the pub to have a drink. So, I asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go down the Queen's Head Tavern with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer.

This bothered me a bit, but I waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the pub for a drink?" But again, there was no answer from my new friend and pet.

So, I waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. I decided to ask him one more time; this time putting my face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to The Queen's Head Tavern and have a drink with me?"

A little voice came out of the box:......................................





"I heard you the first time! I'm putting my f**king shoes on."

************************************************

*groan*

I know. Not the best joke. To be fair though, it isn't the worst. Was watching a tv show last night on bbc 2 and all they could do was take the piss out of suicide bombers...

Didn't think people would be doing that yet. But then I haven't been watching much tv recently so really I have no idea what people are saying about anything.

In fact have no clue to anything that is happening in the world as i don't watch the news, read the paper or generally pay attention to things that are going on around me.

Oooooooooooo, just realised that this is my 100th post! i was planning a big extravaganza but completely forgot and so will have to do it later - mebbe a 101st post extravaganza instead...

Having spaz at work as Spain are annoying me by doing stuff wrong and trying to blame me for it. Would be a good plan except that I have fax receipts nd emails proving that I did my part and they didn't.

Far to efficient and organised. Just wish I could be even vaugely like that in the outside world. Feel sorry for Lorna, she wants to work with me and I will just forget everything.

Like that I'm supposed to turn up etc...

7 comments:

Lorna's Ark said...

you always know how to cheer me up!

charlie said...

Me likes that jokey.

charlie said...

is there anything erm...try your "sent" emails box?

Spain as in the country are being arsey-well I'm not going there on holiday anymore!

Matt said...

i saw the thing where they took the piss out of suicide bombers.

Dis you see That Mitchell and Webb Look before it?
i was amazed, a new sketch show, on the BBC, that was actually funny! its the guys behind Peep Show. and very good it is too. reminded me of A Bit of Fry and Laurie...

i go back to uni tomorrow! woo!

DeppZombie said...

Paaaaaulaaa! What is your email address? Email me - deppzombie@yahoo.co.uk! I dont like feeling like that was an empty promise. (you have two comments like this, basically the same but with a little bit extra now cos I'm not sure you saw the one down on your other post...hey, if you dont want to share mobile numbers, just email me anyhoo, cos I wanna hear from you!!!)

*humpfh*

I'm ill :(

Oh and PS like the joke, its very funny heeheehee

Talk soon

Helen x

woot said...

Awwwww very sweet of you all. Esp as the joke as reaaaaaaaaaaaaally bad...

I havent seen that peep show people thing but did want to and then forgot. Only found the other thing accidentally..

Deppy - i will email you. Was little bit wasted when i wrote that post and havespoken to the person since to clear the air...

charlie said...

she hasnt even told me who it was-she is so secretive.