I was feeling a bit lonely and so decided life would be more fun if I had a pet. So, I went to the pet shop and told the owner that I wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion, I finally bought a Centipede which came in a little white box to use for his house. The owner said it was a talking centipede but you had to really listen as his voice is so very tiny.
I took the box back home, found a good location for it, and decided I would start off by taking my new pet to the pub to have a drink. So, I asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go down the Queen's Head Tavern with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer.
This bothered me a bit, but I waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the pub for a drink?" But again, there was no answer from my new friend and pet.
So, I waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. I decided to ask him one more time; this time putting my face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to The Queen's Head Tavern and have a drink with me?"
A little voice came out of the box:......................................
"I heard you the first time! I'm putting my f**king shoes on."
I know. Not the best joke. To be fair though, it isn't the worst. Was watching a tv show last night on bbc 2 and all they could do was take the piss out of suicide bombers...
Didn't think people would be doing that yet. But then I haven't been watching much tv recently so really I have no idea what people are saying about anything.
In fact have no clue to anything that is happening in the world as i don't watch the news, read the paper or generally pay attention to things that are going on around me.
Oooooooooooo, just realised that this is my 100th post! i was planning a big extravaganza but completely forgot and so will have to do it later - mebbe a 101st post extravaganza instead...
Having spaz at work as Spain are annoying me by doing stuff wrong and trying to blame me for it. Would be a good plan except that I have fax receipts nd emails proving that I did my part and they didn't.
Far to efficient and organised. Just wish I could be even vaugely like that in the outside world. Feel sorry for Lorna, she wants to work with me and I will just forget everything.
Like that I'm supposed to turn up etc...