Sunday, September 10, 2006

Had a little drink...

Ive been told many things while I'm drunk.

One is that I'm only honest when I have had a drink.

Well I have had a drink and I am pissed off from events of the night so I am probably gonna be overly honest and no one will like it but I am to drunk to give a flying fuck.

Frankly. I hate being lied to.

With my friends I am honest. I see no reason to lie. They are my friends, they will like me for all my flaws. That is the whole point of friends.

Then I find out that one is lying to me. Now, I already know that they lie to other people but I never thought that they would lie to me too.

It's stupid.

They lie about the most ridiculous of things. They make plans then change them. They give a reason. Except they think that you belive their reason but you know them to well, you have heard the excuse a million times before and you never believed it then either.

It's ridiculous. You know it is a lie. You can prove it is a lie. They wont be able to dispute it for a second. They still do it and they still beieve you believe them and don't know they are lying.

But I do. I know. And I am sick of it.

I have put up with it for to long.

You are either my friend and you want to see me, hang out, chat etc or you don't.

Partners come and go. Friends are the ones who are around to pick up the pieces. We are the ones who know how you feel when shit happens, We are the ones who hold you through the rough. My friends do it for me and I will do anything for them.

But I do not lie, about anything. And I mean anything. I am an easily readable book.

Yes. I have private stuff. Stuff that if it saw the light of day would see me commited within 5 seconds of someone hearing it but I wouldn't edit it for my friends.

Mebbe I am naive. Mebbe I do trust to easily. But I like tht about me. I see good in people. If i didn't I would never speak to anyone because I think a basic flaw in people is a lack of trust.

I love my friends. They mean the world to me. That one betrays me so easily really cuts like a knife.


charlie said... you need to chat about anything babes I'm here.
Am seriously paranoid now, even though I havent lied to you, sounds like someone has well pissed you off and that has angered me. Anyway, I'll leave at that-you know where I am sweet pea.

DeppZombie said...

Aww honey [big hugs]. I understand you, I've been in a similar situation and have felt exactly the same. Aww. I'm going to email you my mobile number - you may think "hey, shes a 16 year old, and I dont know her, she doesnt understand" but I'm just here to listen and help as best I can if you need it.

If you need to talk or have a rant about anything, you dont have to talk, but just so that you know I'm here, yeah?

[hugs] Helen x

woot said...

*hugs everyone*

Cheers my darlings. Sorry charlie, i'm not naming names, that would be to harsh.

Wouldn't even have blogged it but I may have come home slightly inebriated last night...


Lorna's Ark said...

VERY drunk paula! VERY scarey paula x

woot said...

Can we not...

charlie said...

pssst lorna do you know? I feel so left out I may have to downgrade you.

I do believe though babes, that the honest truth about how you feel about people only comes out when you are drunk-so perhaps it was good for you to get that out your system.

woot said...

Nope. She doesn't. It's not so much a secret just info i'm not gonna share.

Mebbe it was but I think there will be no mor alcohol for a while. To many meds now...

DeppZombie said...

Hmm..what is your email btw? I've only got you saved in my address book as your Yahoo id not your email...hmm...

Hope your well hun. Keep smiling :D

Helen x

DeppZombie said...

Paaaaaulaaa! What is your email address? Email me -! I dont like feeling like that was an empty promise.


I'm ill :(