Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Bad Head Day

Feels like it should be 4am.

Need a laugh.


Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to collect his wife's test results.
The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's.
Frankly, it's either bad news or terrible news!"
What do you mean?" said Mr. Smith.
"Well, one Mrs. Smith tested positive for Alzheimer's, and the other tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your wife's test."
That's terrible!" said Mr. Smith. "Can we do the test over?"
"Normally, yes. But you're on Discovery Health, and they won't pay for these tests more than once."
"What am I supposed to do now?" said Mr. Smith
"Discovery recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don't sleep with her."


Hee hee hee...

Also got this about friendship. Not as sickly as the usual guff.


Friendship Pledge

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got some.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because - you are my friend".

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth!


Well, not gonna try the peeing part but the rest is about right.

Need to dye my hair then sleep.


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