Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Rumbled

Well mebbe.

Was out with someone last night and we may well have been discovered. This means that I may be emigrating veeeeeeerrrrrrrrrry soon as I don't particularly want to be torn limb from limb...

As I am sure that you wouldn't either.

Yes I know that this is all my own fault for cavorting with a guy who is/ was attached but you cannot help who you fall for. Well you could if you decided that you wanted to be miserable for the rest of your life but as my new quotes below say "misery doesn't just love company now, it demands it" and I don't think that making everyone I know put up with a miserable bitch is a good idea.

Yes I used the term "fall for". Because it's very likely that I am. Or at least will. I know I have wittered on about guys on this blog before and that the relationships have lasted a slightly less amount of time than it took me to actually blog about them but I refuse to learn my lesson.

As cynical as I am about the world I am a romantic. Yes people will fuck you off and screw you over and if you're not walking around dazed and confused because of all the damage that has happened to you head on behalf of the opposite sex then you're not walking around right. But I believe in a happy ending. I'm gonna get my fairytale man who rides in a rescues me from a dragon. Though I am hoping he is slightly less camp than the prince who tries it in Shrek, voiced by Rupert Everett.

I'm gonna have the happy home with dogs and no children putting finger marks on everything. I'm not gonna argue over the washing up and hoovering because these are not in my fairytale. And he will never, never, NEVER think it is ok to use the toilet while I am in the bath. This is just weird and wrong and the people who do it are freaks. (Yes Lorna I am talking about you and Stu!!!) If I am in the shower and he walks in the room then he had better be after a shag as otherwise he will never see me naked again!

Failing all the above I shall get millions of cats and scare small children as they walk past the house!

xxx

15 comments:

charlie said...

Can I emigrate with you? Perhaps I could get money from government to emigrate with?

I prefer your second option of having a house with lots of cats-I'm scared of doggies.

Get on the email and tell me whats happened.

We need to meet up-grr

woot said...

Thats quite mean. You want me to be stuck in a house full of animals that I dislike instead of finding my fairytale man.

Just for that I'm not telling you what happened! Ner ner ner.

charlie said...

Oh well, there's another friend gone-I'll end up with none tee-hee.

Hey I am mean, nasty and horrible.

woot said...

Hey I am apparently scrawny as my calf muscles are smaller than a certain someones biceps, we all have our crosss to bear!

Lorna's Ark said...

comment!!!

stupid computer lost my comment so I cant be arsed to retype it!

Lorna's Ark said...

NEVER gonna happen you will either end up with a house full of dogs or sad and married to a man who wants fifty kids!!!

Also you can not countthis man as your fairy tale man, prince charming did not shag cinders and then not get in contact for weeks, then turn up drunk, when his girl friend turned him down excepting some!

He also didnt put her in hospital he he.

So as he doesnt fit the critira you cant count this as your happy ever after!!! ner ner

woot said...

He can want fifty kids as much as he likes. The only way he will get them is by going round to you and you popping them out all over the place and letting them suck upon your nipples which, by the way, IS NOT BETTER THAN SEX! And if you think it is then youre doing sex allllllllllllll wrong!

And the way you go at it that means a hell of wrong sex...

Lorna's Ark said...

you are unqualified to comment on breast feeding as you have never done it! so therefore can not say ANYTHING!

I may have to have another baby now!

woot said...

ANYTHING!

Mwah hah hah hah hah hah.

Breast feeding, like comunal toilets, is an out dated practise. Children should be fed liver and onions, pureed in to pulp. This will then make mappies even grosser and therefore put people off having the little bastards in the first place...

Lorna's Ark said...

mappies what are mappies??

woot said...

I'm turning in to you so my spelling is becoming crap...

Lorna's Ark said...

yeah and I can turn into you! and have all your clothes now we are almost the same size!!

woot said...

Nooooooooooooo. My clothes!! I have finally got in to size 10's (and some size 8's depending on the shop) so you cannot have them!!!

Lorna's Ark said...

yeah beware I will be super slim and you will have to share!!!

woot said...

In that case I get the jumper that I love!