I've been thinking a lot recently. I know, always a bad idea. It does nothing useful and just makes you feel a bit crap.
But I have mostly been wondering about why I am thinking so much about being sick. I've been sick since 2004. I should be used to it by now but the fact remains that it is bothering me much more now than it used to.
Mebbe it's because of the constant pain? Mebbe it is the fear that one day, mebbe soon, that my body will give out and then it will be endless operations to replace the failing parts? Mebbe I'm scared of what it will mean for the future, the loss of independance and being old before my time?
Mebbe I just have to much time on my hands and I need to get a new hobby?
What on earth happened to my usual mantra of "Ignore it, it might go away"???
It could be worse. It's not going to kill me anytime soon. I still do all the things I used to. It hurts but I do them. I will still do them when it is agony. I have my friends and family who love me and offer hugs when I feel shit. Or, if I feel really bad, they take the piss until I snap out of it.
Ths post dsn't have any real point. I am just letting off steam to those who are willing to read about it rather than force it upon those who may not give a damn. I will have to serch through the recesses of mbrain and come up with some nonsense to post later. This blog is becoming all to serious for something that was made up the relieve the boredom of being awake at 3am.
I may go watch some more Family Guy. Thankfully I cannot have kids because if I did I know they would be just like Stewie...