Thursday, August 24, 2006

Bloggage: An Update


Oh I have been away and playing and not updating as often as I should have been.  

Well.  I have been here, working and couldn’t be arsed to go anywhere close enough to a computer to update my blog.

It is my second week with the company and I have gone from new person who knew nothing to person who is in charge as the boss has buggered off to London on holiday.

Now is it me or should you have been working there for a week before they do that to you?!

I am sooooooooo knackered.  I’m at work for half 8 and don’t end to leave til half 6.  On the plus side I have a couple of minions now so I’m not as traumatised by the vast quantities of work I have to do as I am covering the jobs of PA, Office Manager and Sales Admin.

On the private life front I met a cute guy who’s only flaw is that he is the deputy head of a Primary School and he actually likes children.  Still, no one is perfect…

I’m addicted to coke.  Not the white powdery type that you put up your nose and will get you arrested but the sugary caffeinated stuff that comes in a bright red can.  Yummy.  Has replaced my morning cup of tea.  Well, postponed my cup of tea to however long it takes to boil the kettle.  

Possibly too much caffeine for my little system…

It was also the only thing that the doc ever told me was bad for my arthritis too.  All that diety rubbish he was blathering on about.  Oh – I found out today that I am now more susceptible to dying of either a heart attack or a stroke and that docs know this but do not really tell you or prescribe anything to prevent it.  They don’t even test cholesterol as a matter of course.  I celebrated this news by eating chips.  If it’s gonna kill me anyway I may as well go fat and happy!

Saying that – salad tomorrow.  Have put on 2 pounds…

Evil Doctor stabbed me in the arse*.  Am getting new meds, which is good cause I ran out yesterday, so I had to have blood taken too.  Doc gave me an injection to cover the time it will take for the new drugs to kick in.  These get injected in to your butt.  Today I was not only wearing my usual pair of very tiny pants but also a dress.  This meant that the poor docs not only had to be close enough to my gigantic arse to inject it but he also had to see the whole thing in its enormity as I had to put my skirt up for him to get to it.

Note to self:  In future either wear larger pants or trousers when visiting cute doctor…

It is the highly late hour of twenty five to nine so I am leaving you all now and attempting to sleep off the huge bag of chips I snarfed down earlier.

That or I am gonna lay here and watch Black Adder…  

Which I am also addicted to…

I wish you all sweet dreams, well hung men*, no cellulite, the job of your dreams and a small cactus named Edwood for you to care for and love.









*Unless you want a big-breasted bird, then I wish you one of those instead…

P.S. Also huge apologies to Charlie.  I was supposed to go see her on Sunday and completely forgot.  As punishment I will beat myself with a rubber band until my thighs turn purple**…






**Very unlikely I will really do this so to all you little perverts who are masturbating over the image just stop it and go wash your hands!

9 comments:

Lorna's Ark said...

wear trousers! you don't own any BIG pants!

woot said...

Thats true. I did see some really cute ones with a teddy bear on them though that I was considering.

Although I think I am so used to tiny pants that anything larger will just feel odd.

Why am I discussing this where the whole world can read it? I'm sure no one wants to know about my pants..

Lorna's Ark said...

true but also why havent you returned my black adder! bitch

Lorna's Ark said...

oh and coke addict!

woot said...

um cause it is stolen by me until i have had it for the amount of time you had my red dwarf!

charlie said...

Tiny pants-what I they-I have granny pants or HUGE bridget jones ones-tiny pants are made for little people. Not the real woman :)(smug smiley)

Anonymous said...

tiny pants are for someone* who has a great arse to show off. if you ain`t got a great arse then don`t bother, it will look awful.
*read good looking woman. on no account should anyone of the male gender even consider wearing small thong type pants, it`s just WRONG!!!

woot said...

*nods head and agrees with vehemently with anonymous on the men in tiny pans theory*

*also hopes that she is still allowed to wear tiny pants*

Anonymous said...

What's your arse like?
If its good then hell ye.
If it ain`t then just no.