So. Since the post about the boy infuriating me it has been a total upheaval.
Richard and I broke up. Totally mutual and no hard feelings on either side. He has enough shit to deal with without a girl who was in complete conflict of what she wanted against not wanting to hurt someone.
So now Joe. We are taking it slowly until his head is a bit less of a mess as after 5 years it must be difficult letting go. I have outfits that are this old and I don't want to chuck them out even though they are about 5 sizes to big now. It's a comfort thing I suppose - change is always difficult no matter how welcome or wanted it is.
Poor boy. We were play fighting on Sunday and he squeezed me between his arms on a point right on my shoulders, which are quite bad at the minute, and he didn't realise that I wasn't laughing anymore. God it hurt. Bless him, all the blood rushed out of his face when he saw that he had really hurt me! He looked exactly the same when Lorna told him that he had put me in hospital. Excellent, I have blackmail material for the next 20 years...
So, how freaked out am I? Well, totally, is the answer. I'm with someone I love. Me. In love. And actually with that person. It is a very strange situation. One I am unused to.
But it turns out that it is one I like.