Can you tell I have been watching Fight Club?
I have to admit I did not have the greatest weekend in history - in fact, even by my standards, it was bloody awful.
Although, and this sounds really geeky, I got hugs off the people I really needed them from. That could possibly be the worst English ever! I must be feeling bad for my grammar to suffer so much.
One friend took me out and listened to me have my own little break down, all the while not telling me "Yes you are an insane freak, I'm calling the men in white coats now. If I'm lucky they will start the shock treatment immediately!"
We have had issues in the past but they are totally appreciated and one of my closest friends - I wouldn't change our relationship for the world, weird as it is. I love them, completely.
Then the guy I am nuts over came to see me. Mostly just to say that he wouldn't be coming round, just to confuse me. This one is possibly even more complicated than the one above. Well sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't - depends on my mood and as I am in a strange mood it is a strange relationship.
Apparently one look told him that I wasn't 100% and I just got the nicest hug. Lots of them too. We haven't had that sort of relationship so far so for him to just give me a huge hug was really nice as it was just to comfort me. None of the usual antics that we get tend to get up to when ever we see each other. He is really huggable too. For those that know my friend, Bob, well it turns out that he is a Bob-hugger. Which just means that you just seem to get wrapped up in these huge strong arms and you feel really safe and protected. It's a really nice feeling and was really needed yesterday. I realise, rereading that, it makes very little sense but as I know what I am trying to say I'm not gonna try and explain more clearly as it will just confuse even more and smoke will start coming out of my ears (it is Monday after all).
I'm still feeling crap but I think that is more to do with my health than anything my head is going through. Sometimes I think that everything I have had to deal with since 2003 is trying to catch up with me. Usually I am doing so much that everything doesn't have a chance to keep up with me and if it does then I usually ignore it until it goes away. Now I am trying to slow down a bit it seems my brain has more time to examine everything. So my body may be coping better but my head is imploding.
I'm being over dramatic aren't I?
Mebbe I need some sleep. More likely, a cup of tea. Amazing how tea can cure so much. Think I shall try out that healing brew and speak to you all later.
Love P. xxx