Ch ch ch ch changes

Wow.

Where have the years gone?

While mentally, I feel no different from the naive young girl who went tripping off to Australia and dreamed of a life of adventure, the years have changed this weary old soul.

I have been looking back through some of my old posts and I can confirm that my younger self was a bit meh. 

Not that I am not a bit “meh” now.  I just know that I am.  Although that knowledge doesn’t stop me from being “meh”.

Moving on.

 

Though you haven’t asked, I am now married with a child. 

I was SOOOOOOOOOO anti-children.  I didn’t want the responsibility, the cost, the responsibility.

There is a whole life that depends entirely on you.  Or, in my case, on Lorna; to prevent me from leaving her outside in a pram with a free to good home sign.

Or any home.

And she was a good baby!  She slept through the night and didn’t fuss overly.

Could you imagine what I would have done with one that actually caused difficulties like a lack of sleep or just screamed constantly for no discernible reason??? 

She’s older now (6) and my little buddy.  She is what I want my life to be now.  Easy, no drama and full of mega soft & cuddly onesies.

 

She’s like cuddling a teddy bear most of the time.

Anyway, I hope to get my blog going again & to be something a little better than the train crash it was.  I shall not hold my breath for feedback as I am the only person who reads this now.  Or I could give myself feedback, but I can tell you now it will either be glowing or will rip me to shreds depending on how much prosecco I have drank…

Laters x

No Info

Er, haven't got time to blog - will post all when i am back which is either Monday or Tuesday.

Wish me Vodka!

P. x

Just to Prove Matt Wrong

I am blogging! 2 days in a row - it is unheard of!

Just a quickie though.

My highly supportive fella decided that, upon hearing I am trying to become healthier, he needed (not wanted, actually phyisically needed) an Indian takeaway...

Bloody bastard.

But despite he best efforts I was still within my calorific allowances! Tada! Mostly because I had (luckily) eaten nothing but melon and pineapple all day...

Wednesday 7th May
Calories: 1317 (Perfect!!!)
Fruit/ Veg: 6 (Fabulous)
Exercise: Moderate (ok)

So as you can see I am still a saint! Well mebbe not a saint as the lions share was highly unhealthy (but oh soooooo good) Jalfrezi. And even then it was the Naan bread which was the worst culprit, mebbe should stick to pilau rice in future...

I am away this weekend which should be fun. Sister in Law's birthday so we are taking a limo to London baby! I have never been in a limo before. I have already been told that I have to flash from the sunroof but this is highly unlikely. Especially at the beginning of the evening. More likely towards the end of the night whe we are being drunkenly delivered home... Though I should be enough of a Lady now to not do such such silly things. Also I am to old.

Service station food and vast quantities of drinks should all add up to a huge lard mountain. 55 calories per shot of vodka. And I really like vodka. Especially in doubles.

I'm Not Dead

It isn't just a (fantastic) song by Pink, it is a statement of my being.

No I am not dead - as the last comment on my previous post asks. Nor am I shagging to much to blog (sadly).

I don't know. I just moved away from this blogging malarky. It seemed that I used to be on here constantly, sharing every thought and nuance of my day. Not because I thought you were specifically interested but because I had nothing else to do... Phone calls from Australia were far to expensive to ring the people I wanted to tell specific things to so everything was produced en mass and left here to wallow in the blogosphere.

Anyway I am back and it is highly likely that I am as boring as ever and now that Lorna has several million children it is unlikely that even she will read it...

I have a new mission!

*fanfare*

It is a typical woman mission I am afraid. Actually, no. I am not afraid. I am proud of my typical woman mission!

I am calorie counting.

Ha. After all the build up I bet you thought it woud be more exciting...

I have never calorie counted before. I am a firm beliver of the simplest rule. Weight loss is simple. Eat less, do more. But I am also a firm believer that I don't eat that much and if I think about it really honestly I will probably find out that it may not be quite true.

Now I am quite happy to post on here what I am eating and the calorie counts, over the moon for people to read that I have been naughty and had an Indian takeaway, ecstatic for you to know that one day I was really good and ate only celery (never gonna happen). I am not, however, going to post my weight. Bridget Jones is far braver than I and also has the benefit of being imaginery so doesn't count...

Seems like only yesterday that I was a slender size 8. It wasn't though. It was about 2 years ago.

So I have my Wii fit, My Fitness Coach, a bike, a fella who is weird and active and 2 dogs who are insane. This should all add up to trimness. But we will see. And anyone who wishes to post comments should note that even the abusive ones will get me off my arse so all are welcome.

Anyway. The actually calorie counting bit.

Cannot post today's as haven't finished but here is yesterday:

Tuesday 5th May
Calories: 1547 (good)
Fruit/ Veg: 1 (bad)
Exercise: light (ok but could be better)

Did you know that there is 48 calories in a cup of tea??? Well not in just the tea but if you add milk and 2 sugars it equals 48! Not changing to sweetener though. Vile stuff. Should be banned along with that weird milk that you get in the little cartons which is vile and would survive a nuclear explosion along with the cockroaches...

Okies. So that is it for now. I will keep this updated with my progress, mainly just for my own motivation but if any one is interested or has any questions about what I am doing feel free to ask.

In the words of Jeremy Clarkson: "How hard can it be?"

Ooooooooo Lookie, a Proper Post!

Hello fairy fans

Yes, I know it is a shock to you all but, I am posting a proper, real live, interesting (hopefully) blog!

I haven't been about in a while and I have noticed that my post quality has diminished dramatically since returning from the land of Oz.

I have no excuse for it except possibly to say that my life has become vastly more boring since my return to the homeland. This may sound like an excuse immediately after I said there wasn't one but I cannot believe that my existence becoming duller than grey y-fronts could be used as an excuse!

Well not overly dull I suppose. I mean I had myself the traumas with Alex, had an affair with a taken blokie and subsequently stole him for myself (I'm such a bitch), left a job, got a new job, travelled with friends and for business, fell in and out of love - then realised that I was still in love and it actually seems to be working out quite well, finished a qualification (the first since I left school over a decade ago - god I'm old!), signed up for another 2 qualifications as well as volunteering for a charity as I don't see why anyone should go through what I went through, tormented Lorna throughout her pregnancy and am now tormenting her throughout, well, the child's life I suppose...

I went out. I had fun and a life and I didn't feel the need to write about it on here. I am not saying that writing about my life on here is wrong but as I am now (mostly) in the same country as my friends and family it is easier to see them than to write about life on here.

But it still feels like something is missing. I am not sure what it is. Lorna if you dare say it is a baby or a broody feeling then I will wake the new baby up by pinching it so it cries for ages! Thankfully that is one thing I don't need to worry about. My maternal feelings stop at "awwwwwwww, I am so glad that baby is someone else's".

I was watching Jack Ass the 2nd Movie last night. I know that it is now really old and I am probably the last person who was alive when it was released to see it but I was crying with laughter at it. Except the bit where Party Boy drinks fresh horse ejaculation. I hid and I was still retching like I was gonna throw up. I have no idea if he actually drank it but I do have a suspicion he did.

I have growing concern for the world at large. People seem to think it is acceptable to kick a man to death then complain about being in jail. My mother heard 2 lads on a bus talking and one of them was actually banned from a town and thought it was funny. I also read in the paper about a boy who refuses to wear condoms and has, so far, fathered 7 children. He would have another but he beat the would be mother so violently that she miscarried. And we pay this thing benefits! I feel that I would not be alone if I thought that forcibly pinning the guy down and chopping off his knackers would help prevent such occurrences.

The officials that govern this country are no better. They sit in their posh green chairs in the house of what ever and decide how much of our money we have to pay them to remodel their houses, for their wives to go shopping and to pay their children through university.

The men in charge of one of the biggest local banks (or is it a building society) can fuck up beyond all belief and then they get a huge payout while shareholders who believed they were providing for their future are royally buttfucked by the government who have yet to decide what pittance they (by "they" I of course mean "we", the tax payer) will get in payment for these shares.

Also the men in charge of Centrica have hiked up prices and so far as I can see the only reason is to pay their ridiculous salaries and bonuses. And do we even know what they did to earn these bonuses? Were their less power cuts? Doubtful as with all the flooding & storms we have had in the last 12 months or so there must have been a record number of problems.

I am sorry to wax lyrical about governments and the like but in anything other business if we were given diminishing services with higher rates we would tell them where to shove their service and find another company. it seems to me that the government has a monopoly which we either pay in to or go to jail (unlike actual criminals who are allowed to do pretty much anything without fear of incarceration).

We have overcrowded jails and unemployment. How about those who are out of work build jails. No-one should be out of work long term. Even those who are ill can do something. In fact with all the PC crap and jobs for those on benefits only floating around these days they would probably be more likely to get work than I would! If they refuse to work stop paying benefits. Stop paying their tax and rent. If they have children take them away until they can afford to look after them and pay for the roof over their heads. If I couldn't afford something I wouldn't have it - not have it anyway and expect someone else to pay for it. Let them see what life should actually be for people who wont pay their way. Please note that I said wont and not "can't". But then again. A lot of the people who "can't" probably could. Stress and depression should not be reasons to not go to work. Try having my life and then complain about stress and depression. The difference is that I would never want to depend upon handouts to live. I would (and do) suck it up. And I am much happier this way. The other way I would sit on my arse at home, bored out of my brain and I would either go completely mad or turn to something to get me through. Be it drugs, food or drink. None are good for you in massive amounts so my preference is to have a life.

Don't even get me started on the ridiculous immigration policies we have. I may never be able to stop ranting.

I suspect these are the views that would not get me elected should I ever want to run for some form of government.

However if you would vote for me please send a postcard to downing street. On the reverse simply state *Common Sense Please*

An Elephants Tale

In 1986, Dan Harrison (see picture above) was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Dan worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Dan stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.
Dan never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Dan was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Dan and his son Dan Jr. Were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Dan, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Dan couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Dan summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Dan's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.








Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Sorry, been busy

For, er about two months... Oops!

Ok, so a lot has happened since I was last on here. Most of which I cannot remember. I will blog about what little of it is left in my memory. To make it go a bit quicker I will just list them in a way that is both boring and tedious.

1. Working trip to Brussels. First job as a consultant!!! Yay, go me etc. Did the exact same as when I went as an assistant but this time I was not a direct employee of the business...
2. HOLIDAY!!!! Bulgaria was lovely and I got some fabby tan lines which have already faded.
3. Had a double date with Lorna & Stu, Me & Joe for my birthday where I was ceremoniously tortured and ridiculed. Isn't it great to have friends.
4. Went out for dinner with lots of friends then went out drinking, got sloshed and then promptly passed out as soon as I saw my bed. Joe was not impressed.
5. Er, thats it. I have a rubbish memory.
6. Thought about running for prime minister.
7. Decided it would be far to much like hard work.
8. Bastard didn't hold an election so couldn't have anyway.
9. Joe made me the first cup of tea he has ever made me since we met last december!

Right cannot be bothered with that anymore.

Will blog again soon but for now I am feeling totally shit as I am full of cold and I am convinced that my ear is about to fall off.

Laters

P. xxx

Good Weekend

Had a fabby weekend out with my little friends in Cleethorpes for the bank holiday.

Very messy night on Saturday. I stole a poor guys shoe and hid it in the dj box so that no one else would nick it and I could get it back to the guy. Unfortunately it got kicked under something in the dj box and the poor guy had to wait til gone 3am to get his shoe when the lights came on and they could see to find it...

Ooops...

We were also gonna go to the beach on Sunday but one of us (possibly me) was so hungover and feeling so ill that she couldn't get off the sofa!

Ok, yes it was me. So while I was languishing did I get any sympathy or cups of tea made for me?

No.

I got left on the sofa watching movies and feeling increasingly dizzy while Kel went for lunch with her new fella and Maz went for a shag!

So rude.

Though as it was apparently my own fault I will get no sympathy at all and should stop whinging *grin*

Got home Sunday to my lovely fella and a proper snuggly up where I still got no sympathy. The guy whose shoe I stole did though wheich was very annoying!

He doesn't read this (mostly cause he doesn't know it exists so I can still write what I like with out him reading it) but in case he ever comes across it (or Lorna tells him what I am writing to wind me up in revenge for the facebook thing): -

love you baby!

Mwah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah etc

She's gonna kill me....

He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he (you get the idea)...

Should Probably Update My Profile

Well hello again.

I'm confused.

Yes I know it doesn't take much. Bloody men all need smacking upside the head with something hard and pointy.

I know me and Joe are complicated but I am really getting annoyed with everything. We were talking while we had our day out in Whitby (which was really nice by the way - no I still didn't get my boat ride but my hip was killing me as we walked up to the Abbey and we wanted to sneak off for a shag *grin*).

Anyway back to the talk. Joe wants to cool things a bit to take the heat off of me as apparently she was making comments about me. It is all very frustrating and I do feel for the boy but I had just gotten used to him being around and now he wont be again for a bit.

We were having a chat about his family trying to help him and make him feel better. They are also trying to et him back with his ex not realising that her not leaving is what is making him ill in the first place.

He has not been happy for a while but has not left as he doesn't want her to get hurt. Now he also doesn't want me to get hurt (emothionally or physically if she finds out!) and this is what is causing him to be so stressed. I asked if he had ever really explained it to them. Take me out of the equation and would he stay with her? He said no. Then the thing that is causing him the stress is him wanting to end the relationship without hurting her (yes girls we know this is impossible but you try explaining that to a guy!)

He just sat and looked at me like I had grown another head. "You know, no one has ever summed it up like that". He actually said that. Bloody muppet - if that isn't the problem then what the bloody hell is. He wants to end it, she wont accept it, he doesn't want to cause her the hurt but him not just saying "that's it, done" means that she keeps thinking it will all end up back to normal. To be honest his family isn't helping as they all think he is just confused and should stay with her.

But again this is because he hasn't spelt it out to anyone.

Like I say - he is a bloody muppet.

But I am getting sick of it. As far as I am concerned I am a free agent allowed to do want I like with whoever I fancy it with. The fact that he told me that I could just takes the fun out of it.

Bloody blokes.

So we are cooling it but we are still on for everything else i.e. wedding in Cancun. During Lorna's 3rd trimester just to annoy her.

He he he - just kidding Lorna - it is years off yet. Though there are no kids allowed so you would need to find a babysitter for your herd for two weeks. *grin* No I am not joking.

And No, I am not having bridesmaids. That is also not a joke. There would be far to many people I would need to ask and it isn't fair to expect them to go out to Mexico just for my wedding. It'll just be a very small thing. Though he wants me to ask his nieces which isn't gonna appen as A) they are kids and B) I don't bloody know them.

Why do people do that? Ask kids of people they don't know and don't know/ like the kids???

Nope - all banned.

Mwah hah hah hah hah - Oh apart from my nieces and nephews cause I like them...

Update

Brief addition to the below post.

You would be thinking that from the previous post that my life is a bit more sorted but no. Richard now seems to miss me and doesn't know what to do with that.

Foggy not telling him about Joe!

How do I get myself in to these situations?

All Change

So. Since the post about the boy infuriating me it has been a total upheaval.

Richard and I broke up. Totally mutual and no hard feelings on either side. He has enough shit to deal with without a girl who was in complete conflict of what she wanted against not wanting to hurt someone.

So now Joe. We are taking it slowly until his head is a bit less of a mess as after 5 years it must be difficult letting go. I have outfits that are this old and I don't want to chuck them out even though they are about 5 sizes to big now. It's a comfort thing I suppose - change is always difficult no matter how welcome or wanted it is.

Poor boy. We were play fighting on Sunday and he squeezed me between his arms on a point right on my shoulders, which are quite bad at the minute, and he didn't realise that I wasn't laughing anymore. God it hurt. Bless him, all the blood rushed out of his face when he saw that he had really hurt me! He looked exactly the same when Lorna told him that he had put me in hospital. Excellent, I have blackmail material for the next 20 years...

So, how freaked out am I? Well, totally, is the answer. I'm with someone I love. Me. In love. And actually with that person. It is a very strange situation. One I am unused to.

But it turns out that it is one I like.

The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this and the men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!


DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine!



13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect



Show this to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh!

...Or men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS

The Boy Infuriates Me

What is it with men?

I have never had so much attention now that I do not want it.

Today, I was proposed to. 8 months I wait for a certain someone to get off his arse and realise what he wants. Well now he has and he chooses to tell me when I am no longer available to him.

Do men just wait until a girl looks happy to throw not just a spanner but a whole tool box in to the works?

My head is now in a barn (the shed was to small) and I am totally confused about what I want.

I don't mess people around and I am not going to throw Richard away just because Joe has finally realised that I was nuts about him and he suddenly wants to devote everything that he is to me. I told him I had never hurt anyone in my life and it was true. I don't intend to change that now.

But the fact is that I was, and still am, head over heels for Joe. If Richard wasn't about I would have said yes immediately and would currently be on a beach with him in Mexico having a beautiful wedding with a little Mexican band playing and fajita's instead of a buffet.

Instead I am confused and tired.

Someone wanna point me in the right direction?

Oh the Decisions

Well hello again my little monkey pals.

I have to tell you that I have a huge grin on my face. I would have had this grin yesterday but I was in to much pain with my arthritis to be all happy and smiling. Hospital shot me full of drugs and now I am back to being all grinny and silly.

Far to early for this sort of muppetryness but I have just met this guy that I quite like.

I know, I know. Every so often I come on here and witter about a guy I met and liked and then 3 days later I never hear from him again and neither do you.

So this is what will probably happen again but I am a creature of habit and therefore need to blather about how fab he is for the 3 days I know him. *grin*

This guy I even tried to put off and told him all the horror stories about being in hospital, crying in pain and generally being sick most of the time. Not only did this not seem to bother him but he saw it for himself in the morning (yes, I'm a pratt - as one of my friends told me) and he just gave me a hug and text me later checking I was ok and that he had been worried about me. Now I know that they say any relationship should be based on honesty but I may have text back telling him that I was fine and just needed to "get going" when I was actually in agony and ended up in hospital again...

Oops...

Oh well, trying to scare the boy is one thing, making him totally freak out is another. My darling Lorna actually made a guy look like he was about to cry by accusing him of putting me in hospital (is it bad that this happens quite often?) and it took me ages to assure the guy that he didn't (which now I'm kinda thinking may have been wrong...) and that I was fine.

And this guy is sooooooooo tall. I think I only come up to his elbow. And his jeans may actually be longer than I am...

He's very cute though and oh my god what a body...!

Growing Up...

...In the 1940's*, 50's*, 60's*, or 70's*

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a tin, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking ..

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a van - loose - was always great fun.

We drank water from the garden hosepipe and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cakes, white bread and real butter and drank pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem .

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no text messaging, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents .

We played with worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out any eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

Local teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.

And while you are at it, show it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were!









* No I am not old enough to have grown up in any of the listed decades**...!






** But Lorna is...

Bad Parenting

Well I thought it was funny...



I have had such a busy weekend.

Out Friday (total waste of time) then was even more knackered as people think that 2am is THE time to be texting me. I got more texts and phone calls between the hours of 1am and 4am on Friday and Saturday than I did in the rest of the week! They were nice texts and phone calls though. Had a huge chat with a mate at 2am on Saturday night (technically Sunday morning), it was nice.

Out Saturday which was much more pointful.

Kiddies birthday party on Sunday. I hid in the kitchen with the kettle and the tea bags/ milk/ sugar (and cheese and pineapple sticks which I really annoyed Lorna by eating before the party started) etc so by the time the kids left I was on total caffeine high!

Then got lost (twice - though technically the first time I wasn't lost I just thought I was so went a different way and got lost...) on the way to Darlington because I was told that the A66 was closed. It wasn't, as I manaaged to get back that way as I missed the turn I was supposed to make to go the wrong way which would have been the right way if the road had been closed?

Got that?

No, because it is all stupidly confusing?

Tough. Try driving it. In the rain!

I am Jacks' Broken Heart

Can you tell I have been watching Fight Club?

I have to admit I did not have the greatest weekend in history - in fact, even by my standards, it was bloody awful.

Although, and this sounds really geeky, I got hugs off the people I really needed them from. That could possibly be the worst English ever! I must be feeling bad for my grammar to suffer so much.

One friend took me out and listened to me have my own little break down, all the while not telling me "Yes you are an insane freak, I'm calling the men in white coats now. If I'm lucky they will start the shock treatment immediately!"

We have had issues in the past but they are totally appreciated and one of my closest friends - I wouldn't change our relationship for the world, weird as it is. I love them, completely.

Then the guy I am nuts over came to see me. Mostly just to say that he wouldn't be coming round, just to confuse me. This one is possibly even more complicated than the one above. Well sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't - depends on my mood and as I am in a strange mood it is a strange relationship.

Apparently one look told him that I wasn't 100% and I just got the nicest hug. Lots of them too. We haven't had that sort of relationship so far so for him to just give me a huge hug was really nice as it was just to comfort me. None of the usual antics that we get tend to get up to when ever we see each other. He is really huggable too. For those that know my friend, Bob, well it turns out that he is a Bob-hugger. Which just means that you just seem to get wrapped up in these huge strong arms and you feel really safe and protected. It's a really nice feeling and was really needed yesterday. I realise, rereading that, it makes very little sense but as I know what I am trying to say I'm not gonna try and explain more clearly as it will just confuse even more and smoke will start coming out of my ears (it is Monday after all).

I'm still feeling crap but I think that is more to do with my health than anything my head is going through. Sometimes I think that everything I have had to deal with since 2003 is trying to catch up with me. Usually I am doing so much that everything doesn't have a chance to keep up with me and if it does then I usually ignore it until it goes away. Now I am trying to slow down a bit it seems my brain has more time to examine everything. So my body may be coping better but my head is imploding.

I'm being over dramatic aren't I?

Mebbe I need some sleep. More likely, a cup of tea. Amazing how tea can cure so much. Think I shall try out that healing brew and speak to you all later.

Love P. xxx

Still No Pictures

I have really gotten rubbish at this blogging malarky. You would think I had gone out and got myself a life and am just to busy now but do not worry - I assure you that is not the case.

On the other hand my little commentators seem to have gotten bored and wandered off to comment elsewhere so mebbe my blog is just no longer interesting enough to hold their attention *prods Lorna and Charlie*...

Speaking of Lorna she is here to take me to the hospital - mebbe I will find a cute doctor to take care of me while I'm there!

Laters. xxx

What is With the One Post a Month?!?

Getting rubbish aren't I?

Well not been long back after jetting off to Alicante for a working holiday paid for (so kindly) by the company.

Managed to lay on the beach and do enough shopping to make it worthwhile. Oh, did some work to...

I have lots of pics including me with Javier's motorbike (which he took me out on!!! I'm such a speed freak) which I will have to get Lorna to send to me.

However the laptop is still being an arse - I MUST get it fixed - anyone know any good places?


Not at work tomorrow - I need the lie in as have a busy weekend ahead. Working Saturday (yes - this is me slowing down and taking it easy) and then have to spend all Sunday firmly wedged in front of the TV watching Hamilton (hopefully) kick Alonso's arse all the way back to Spain! I have a good humoured rivalry with Javier (who is Spanish and therefore an Alonso fan) and I really need Hamilton to win and to win well as I may have been on a horse that is about 4 miles high about how great Hamilton is so far...

*looks sheepish* Yes - I am a total bandwagon girl as I had never heard of him before the first race of the season...

But in my defense C'MON HAMILTON!

Yes I know that isn't a defense but it's my blog and as High Judge I grant myself privilege of acting like an arse.

Anyway - pics of me acting like an arse will follow soonist. Promise*.






*Er... Kinda...